Help with thesis statement!

[Alain.Mark]

I do not want to be a douche but... im running out of time can anyone pls help me.

Is this a good thesis statement?:

"Because Air Pollution is diminishing their quality of life, Asthmatics should either start finding ways to cope with this burden or migrate to places where in the air quality is of a tolerable scale."

btw, my outline is due after 8 hours. I trust you more than my harsh professor. (He just throws papers away without even explaining why)

 

[JetFangInferno]

Refrain from using verbs of being (is, are, was, were, be, being). You can correct your first sentence by simply saying "Because Air Pollution diminishes their quality of life..."

Your second sentence can be more compact while avoiding a verb of being ("is") by simply saying "Asthmatics should either ... or migrate to places with tolerable air quality."

Depending on the prompt, I feel like you've either got a good start by answering what Asthmatics should do in response to air pollution but if the prompt may require you address how they ought to do the things you proposed.

Good luck!

 

[Magtheridon96]

The thesis statement should be like a caption of the entire essay, so assuming that you included all the main ideas, your thesis statement is fine.

Just change it like this:

Because Air Pollution is diminishing their quality of life, Asthmatics should either start finding ways to cope with this burden or migrate to places where in the air quality is of a tolerable scale.

->

Due to the diminishment of their quality of life caused by air pollution, Asthmatics should either find ways to cope with this burden, or migrate to places where the air quality is tolerable.

It sounds ok

 

[Alain.Mark]

Hey guys thanks i already submitted it though.

 

[Magtheridon96]

Did he rip it?

 

[Alain.Mark]

I do not know yet because i submitted in batch (together with my schoolmates' papers)