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- Mar 27, 2013
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Clash of Heavens - Prologue/Chapter 1
Hi Everyone!
This is the prologue and the first chapter of a story I'm writing. I'd like to know everyone's opinion. Critiques and sugestions are more than welcome!
Although this story might not fit its name for now, it will. Just be pacient and wait for the next chapters.
The second chapter can be found here
Please, do leave your feedback below, I really appreciate it!
Hi Everyone!
This is the prologue and the first chapter of a story I'm writing. I'd like to know everyone's opinion. Critiques and sugestions are more than welcome!
Although this story might not fit its name for now, it will. Just be pacient and wait for the next chapters.
The rain got heavier, as he looked to the grave in front of him, eyes glittering with tears:
Curt Lance
1998 – 2013
Beloved Friend
May His Soul Rest In Peace
“Why? Why would he do it? He was over his parents’ death long ago, he had a good life with my family!” Liam had too many questions, he was too confused. The cops had said it was suicide, but it just didn’t make any sense! He looked to the sky. Raindrops fell on his face, mixing with the tears. His hair was soaked, as well as his clothes. It no longer mattered. He no longer cared about being wet or dry or how he looked. - A thunder roared in the distance. - He couldn’t hold it. The pressure inside was overwhelming. He needed to release it. Staring at the clouds, he felt the tears coming. But these weren’t sad ones. They were angry tears, for there was a rage burning within Liam’s body, devouring him from the inside. Slowly, he raised his arms and filled his lungs with air, then screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And when he was done screaming, he shouted one last word the air, perhaps hoping to get those answers he needed so desperately that way:
“WHY?!” he said. But there was no answer. Only the constant sound of the rain and the distant noise of the thunders. After a moment, he continued shouting. “WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM?! WHAT DID HE DO?!” the boy kept asking. He had barely finished the sentence when the need to cry came, stronger than ever.
Liam laid there for hours, sobbing endlessly. The tears were nearly depleted, when he felt a weird sensation on his stomach. He managed to sit on the muddy dirt and looked around – there wasn’t much light, but the lamps from the other side of the graveyard were enough to see well, - only to find loneliness. He then looked up. The rain was as heavy as it had been all night long. Taking a deep breath, he tried to get up. Liam was on one knee, when a tremendous (estrondo) sounded above him. He looked up and a huge flash blinded him, followed by an intense pain all over his body. He fell and darkness closed on him.
Curt Lance
1998 – 2013
Beloved Friend
May His Soul Rest In Peace
“Why? Why would he do it? He was over his parents’ death long ago, he had a good life with my family!” Liam had too many questions, he was too confused. The cops had said it was suicide, but it just didn’t make any sense! He looked to the sky. Raindrops fell on his face, mixing with the tears. His hair was soaked, as well as his clothes. It no longer mattered. He no longer cared about being wet or dry or how he looked. - A thunder roared in the distance. - He couldn’t hold it. The pressure inside was overwhelming. He needed to release it. Staring at the clouds, he felt the tears coming. But these weren’t sad ones. They were angry tears, for there was a rage burning within Liam’s body, devouring him from the inside. Slowly, he raised his arms and filled his lungs with air, then screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And when he was done screaming, he shouted one last word the air, perhaps hoping to get those answers he needed so desperately that way:
“WHY?!” he said. But there was no answer. Only the constant sound of the rain and the distant noise of the thunders. After a moment, he continued shouting. “WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM?! WHAT DID HE DO?!” the boy kept asking. He had barely finished the sentence when the need to cry came, stronger than ever.
Liam laid there for hours, sobbing endlessly. The tears were nearly depleted, when he felt a weird sensation on his stomach. He managed to sit on the muddy dirt and looked around – there wasn’t much light, but the lamps from the other side of the graveyard were enough to see well, - only to find loneliness. He then looked up. The rain was as heavy as it had been all night long. Taking a deep breath, he tried to get up. Liam was on one knee, when a tremendous (estrondo) sounded above him. He looked up and a huge flash blinded him, followed by an intense pain all over his body. He fell and darkness closed on him.
A voice sounded in the darkness.
“Doctor! Doctor, he’s waking up!” it looked like Nurse Jane’s voice, calm and sweet.
Liam tried to open his eyes, only to close them back. The sunlight was too strong. He had a horrible taste in his mouth, which he only noticed when he spoke, expecting someone would hear.
“Could someone shut the curtains, please?”
After a moment, he tried to open his eyes again. It was much better now. Trying to find out where he was, Liam looked around. He was in a small room, surrounded by machines. His bed was white, as well as the rest of the place.
“I must be in the hospital,” he thought. Carefully, he tried to sit. His legs were asleep and all his muscles were sore. Finally, with an enormous effort, he sat on the hospital bed. Only then he saw a broken cup in the floor. He heard steps and looked at the door. A woman entered the room. It must have been her who’d shut the curtains. Right behind her, a nurse came in. Liam was now sure whose voice was that: Nurse Jane, no doubt. He immediately recognized her, her green eyes and her red hair, although she looked somewhat… older. Not much, just slightly older. She looked shocked.
“My God! How is this possible? It’s a miracle!”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. He had no idea of what had happened. The last thing he remembered was being in the graveyard mourning Curt. Curt. His death was still a mystery for Liam…
He waited for an answer, but, for moments, Nurse Jane just stared. She then seemed to become aware Liam was talking to her.
“Don’t you worry now, it’s alright. Now you need to rest,” he wasn’t satisfied with that; he needed to know what happened. Yet, he’d play along for now. He had just woke up and wouldn’t start causing trouble right away.
“Fine. Could I have some water?”
“Just a swallow then. Don’t want you to vomit or something…”
“Why would I vomit?”
“Easy. I’ll explain everything later. Now, do you still want that water or not?” Liam nodded. Nurse Jane told the woman to get the drink, then left.
Minutes later, the woman entered the room with a cup of plastic full of water. Liam drank it. He wasn’t thirsty, but he needed to get that hideous taste out of his mouth.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Amy. You should rest,”
“Amy, please tell me what happened,”
“I’m not allowed to speak about that, but… Let’s just say you took a big nap,” she answered quickly, before leaving the boy alone with his thoughts.
Hours passed, but Liam couldn’t sleep more than a few minutes without waking up. He was too curious, too intrigued about what Amy had told him… Did she mean he had been in some sort of coma? Still, what could’ve possibly been so bad to be hidden from him?
Suddenly, he heard a voice, a very familiar one: his mother’s.
“Where is he? Let me see him!” she sounded desperate to see her son, as if he’d been dying.
Liam’s mother entered the room in such a hurry it seemed she was going to break everything inside it. She looked at him, tears rushing down her face. Without hesitation, she turned towards the boy and hugged and kissed him as if it was the last time she’d be able to do so.
“Hey mom,” he said when she interrupted the kissing. “It’s good to see you…”
“Oh, Liam! My God, I thought I’d lost you! Thank God you woke up!”
“Why do you say that? What happened to me?”
“I’ll explain everything later, honey. You need to rest now.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Where’s dad?”
By hearing these words, Liam’s mother’s smile vanished and her expression darkened as if a mantle of shadows had been thrown over her.
“Shh,” she said calmly, while carefully putting a hand over Liam’s head. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, when the time comes, but, right now, you need to sleep…”
He insisted no more, she wouldn’t tell him anything. So he slept. And, this time, he actually managed to get some sleep.
When he woke up, the room was empty. His mother was gone. The only thing he could hear was the constant sound of the working machines. He sat and realized he still couldn’t feel his legs. A sudden fear awoke in him, as a terrible thought crossed his mind: were his lower members paralyzed? He denied it, though. That was unacceptable. Still, this idea, even if rejected, brought more curiosity over Liam. He wanted to know about what had happened and why were people so reluctant about telling him.
Moments later, Nurse Jane came into the room. She was breathing deeply and, then, Liam saw why he couldn’t move his legs, as the nurse slowly started uncovering them: they were tied to the bed really hard. Nurse Jan started to untie the belts.
“What’re you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting you ready to show you what you want to see, my dear.”
“Can’t you just tell me?”
“No.”
“Is it that bad?”
Nurse Jane gave him a cold look. That was how bad it was.
After she took the belts off, the boy was left alone, so that the blood could rush through his legs and their use could be recovered.
Hours passed until, finally, he could move his members once more. Liam called a nurse and Jane came a few minutes later. She told him to try and get on his feet.
“Careful now,” she said. “Your legs are fragile and I don’t want you to break them or something.”
Slowly, he got up. At first, he’d only go for small and careful steps, but as he got more confident, he risked more relaxed ones. He could walk well, but he couldn’t help the feeling that something wasn’t right with his body.
They left the room. The hallway was just as white as everything else in that blasted hospital. They crossed the corridor and turned right, into a door that said Looker Room. Nurse Jane wouldn’t release his arm through the whole way.
“Shouldn’t that say Locker Room?” Liam asked, curious.
“No, dear. It is the Looker room…”
Anxiety rushed through the boy’s body. What sort of wicked thing could that be? Was that the room where they took people like Liam, who needed to find out something so terrible it could only be shown, never told? He breathed deep and swallowed. Nurse Jane put her hand on the doorknob and started spinning it, but stopped. She looked at Liam, her eyes red, and spoke slowly.
“Dear…?” she hesitated.
“Yes?”
“I… just want you to know… what you’re about to see… the doctors did their best, ok?”
Scared, Liam could only say: “Ok.”
The nurse breathed deeply and opened the door.
“Doctor! Doctor, he’s waking up!” it looked like Nurse Jane’s voice, calm and sweet.
Liam tried to open his eyes, only to close them back. The sunlight was too strong. He had a horrible taste in his mouth, which he only noticed when he spoke, expecting someone would hear.
“Could someone shut the curtains, please?”
After a moment, he tried to open his eyes again. It was much better now. Trying to find out where he was, Liam looked around. He was in a small room, surrounded by machines. His bed was white, as well as the rest of the place.
“I must be in the hospital,” he thought. Carefully, he tried to sit. His legs were asleep and all his muscles were sore. Finally, with an enormous effort, he sat on the hospital bed. Only then he saw a broken cup in the floor. He heard steps and looked at the door. A woman entered the room. It must have been her who’d shut the curtains. Right behind her, a nurse came in. Liam was now sure whose voice was that: Nurse Jane, no doubt. He immediately recognized her, her green eyes and her red hair, although she looked somewhat… older. Not much, just slightly older. She looked shocked.
“My God! How is this possible? It’s a miracle!”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. He had no idea of what had happened. The last thing he remembered was being in the graveyard mourning Curt. Curt. His death was still a mystery for Liam…
He waited for an answer, but, for moments, Nurse Jane just stared. She then seemed to become aware Liam was talking to her.
“Don’t you worry now, it’s alright. Now you need to rest,” he wasn’t satisfied with that; he needed to know what happened. Yet, he’d play along for now. He had just woke up and wouldn’t start causing trouble right away.
“Fine. Could I have some water?”
“Just a swallow then. Don’t want you to vomit or something…”
“Why would I vomit?”
“Easy. I’ll explain everything later. Now, do you still want that water or not?” Liam nodded. Nurse Jane told the woman to get the drink, then left.
Minutes later, the woman entered the room with a cup of plastic full of water. Liam drank it. He wasn’t thirsty, but he needed to get that hideous taste out of his mouth.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Amy. You should rest,”
“Amy, please tell me what happened,”
“I’m not allowed to speak about that, but… Let’s just say you took a big nap,” she answered quickly, before leaving the boy alone with his thoughts.
Hours passed, but Liam couldn’t sleep more than a few minutes without waking up. He was too curious, too intrigued about what Amy had told him… Did she mean he had been in some sort of coma? Still, what could’ve possibly been so bad to be hidden from him?
Suddenly, he heard a voice, a very familiar one: his mother’s.
“Where is he? Let me see him!” she sounded desperate to see her son, as if he’d been dying.
Liam’s mother entered the room in such a hurry it seemed she was going to break everything inside it. She looked at him, tears rushing down her face. Without hesitation, she turned towards the boy and hugged and kissed him as if it was the last time she’d be able to do so.
“Hey mom,” he said when she interrupted the kissing. “It’s good to see you…”
“Oh, Liam! My God, I thought I’d lost you! Thank God you woke up!”
“Why do you say that? What happened to me?”
“I’ll explain everything later, honey. You need to rest now.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Where’s dad?”
By hearing these words, Liam’s mother’s smile vanished and her expression darkened as if a mantle of shadows had been thrown over her.
“Shh,” she said calmly, while carefully putting a hand over Liam’s head. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, when the time comes, but, right now, you need to sleep…”
He insisted no more, she wouldn’t tell him anything. So he slept. And, this time, he actually managed to get some sleep.
When he woke up, the room was empty. His mother was gone. The only thing he could hear was the constant sound of the working machines. He sat and realized he still couldn’t feel his legs. A sudden fear awoke in him, as a terrible thought crossed his mind: were his lower members paralyzed? He denied it, though. That was unacceptable. Still, this idea, even if rejected, brought more curiosity over Liam. He wanted to know about what had happened and why were people so reluctant about telling him.
Moments later, Nurse Jane came into the room. She was breathing deeply and, then, Liam saw why he couldn’t move his legs, as the nurse slowly started uncovering them: they were tied to the bed really hard. Nurse Jan started to untie the belts.
“What’re you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting you ready to show you what you want to see, my dear.”
“Can’t you just tell me?”
“No.”
“Is it that bad?”
Nurse Jane gave him a cold look. That was how bad it was.
After she took the belts off, the boy was left alone, so that the blood could rush through his legs and their use could be recovered.
Hours passed until, finally, he could move his members once more. Liam called a nurse and Jane came a few minutes later. She told him to try and get on his feet.
“Careful now,” she said. “Your legs are fragile and I don’t want you to break them or something.”
Slowly, he got up. At first, he’d only go for small and careful steps, but as he got more confident, he risked more relaxed ones. He could walk well, but he couldn’t help the feeling that something wasn’t right with his body.
They left the room. The hallway was just as white as everything else in that blasted hospital. They crossed the corridor and turned right, into a door that said Looker Room. Nurse Jane wouldn’t release his arm through the whole way.
“Shouldn’t that say Locker Room?” Liam asked, curious.
“No, dear. It is the Looker room…”
Anxiety rushed through the boy’s body. What sort of wicked thing could that be? Was that the room where they took people like Liam, who needed to find out something so terrible it could only be shown, never told? He breathed deep and swallowed. Nurse Jane put her hand on the doorknob and started spinning it, but stopped. She looked at Liam, her eyes red, and spoke slowly.
“Dear…?” she hesitated.
“Yes?”
“I… just want you to know… what you’re about to see… the doctors did their best, ok?”
Scared, Liam could only say: “Ok.”
The nurse breathed deeply and opened the door.
The second chapter can be found here
Please, do leave your feedback below, I really appreciate it!
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