Still Beating Heart

[Sephiyr]

Right, well heres some lyrics of a song I thought of.

Enjoy!

Everything is a hell
My eyes are burning
My past is clear
I've been walking
Along this hopeless lane
For hours and hours
I'm not even moving
My scars are so deep
I feel unreal

Your Still Beating Heart
It contaminates me
The scars you created
Remind me of my dreadful past

I want to be
Someone like me
These wounds
They crave for insanity
Everything is so
Hopeless to my eyes
For hours I have cried
But I find no point
I feel useless


Your Still Beating Heart
It contaminates me
The scars you created
Remind me of my dreadful past

Everything seems to me that
Its the end of all hope
I find no reason to exist
My head just spins
And forever I lay waste
Whenever I take deep breaths
My heart reminds me
The light is so faded and dim
I have felt the pain of a life time

Your Still Beating Heart
It contaminates me
The scars you created
Remind me of my dreadful past


How long I've
Slept on this field
Staring beyond the stars
Staring beyond my vision
What you've put me in
Has ate me away
The scars are so deep
I will tear my heart open
And its only because


Your Still Beating Heart
It contaminates me
The scars you created
Remind me of my dreadful past

My tears of sorrow
My face of grief
My path of anguish
I die here tonight
And the world will continue
Without me
Your the only one who can save me
But that won't happen
You hate me

Your Still Beating Heart
It contaminates me
The scars you created
Remind me of my dreadful past(x2)


Kinda sucky >.>.

 

[Eggy]

I just cant find any flow. It's hard to get "attached" to it. Your Rhyme Scheme is like:

A
B
C
D

A
B
C
D

A
B
C
D


etc

etc

Hard to find a flow with that.

 

[Sephiyr]

Heh I will learn one day . We all need to learn one day, the next one I will try to add a flow.

(offtopic) Whats with all the Zeke avatars? seems people like em alot.

 

[Eggy]

PM Infuzions, he is a pretty good song writer, check out some of his song son the forums. He comes on every once and awhile and may be be able to help you

 

[Sephiyr]

Ah thanks for advice, I've checked out some of his songs, one of them is depressing anyways I could use with some help, even Alot is better than me...

 

[MAP MASTER]

your kind of songs are cool, rock with depress and death and kill and that kind of stuff is how a song runs.

Edit: btw man, you can PM me any time and I can give you classes