God of Greed

[The_wand_mirror]

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[DarkKnight]

Nice, if you keep it in such a small, easy to read packages, I'll probably keep up with these stories XD, it's realy nice, good job!

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Yeah i figured the normal approach would come in a lot handier and less chaotic, none the less i still have a map and a bestiary. But that's all for now, i will probably come up with charachters along the way, and despite i haven't even really started the story i already thought about some plots.

 

[Linaze]

Looks good. But if the year is ~350, how can the humans be considered a "young" race, when the world is so young in itself?

 

[The_wand_mirror]

The other races that started counting years before them, the world is much older and the humans are pratically a new race.

EDIT: Added chapter I, please tell me what you think about it if you've read it and report possible grammar errors if you would care for me to correct them.

=D

 

[DarkKnight]

What now? you would probably think, ramble on about this drama and never do something about it because even though I claim to have the guts to do it I won’t too it anyways because the future will be better anyhow?


What now? you would probably think, ramble on about this drama and never do something about it because even though I claim to have the guts to do it I won’t do it anyways because the future will be better anyhow?

(too=do I presume?)

but look at what he did to me. As far as I’m concerned everyone in this kingdom is one big corrupt place from which I need to escape,

(Something seems wrong here)

Nice story ^^, I almost thought that the boy would be killed at the end

 

[The_wand_mirror]

lol, i don't think you're understanding what this is about.

The story will be about this person, he is the main charachter.

Though he is fourteen now i will skip some parts to when he's eigtheen and the real adventure begins.

This is just a chapter =/

Much more to come...

 

[DarkKnight]

Yea, but the end just seemed so much like betrayal, or atleast a try at his XD.

 

[The_wand_mirror]

How so?

Aehren knows about his fake fathers betrayal, but its not the other way around.

Aehren is immune to any kind of evil done against him while he is still within his kingdom as a prince.

 

[DarkKnight]

Just, a sudden stop, ordered by the king, not allowed to be told... it all sounds so XD.

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Well for the moment when i wrote it i figured i just needed something to happen in a dialogue or something to blow a little live into it.

But i've been thinking this may be a big deal anways, but i aint telling ^^

 

[DarkKnight]

Question: Why do you capitalise your I's in the story, but not outside of it?

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Because Word corrects that mistake automatically and when i normally write stuff i don't care! xD

Thank you Word!

It's a mistake i've always had trouble with, and i always seem to forget it.

EDIT: Fixed too = do and Fixed the weird sentence Darkknight found!

 

[NearbyHermit]

I still consider you should make a blog and write a book!

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Well, i have the site i was going to put online sometime in Sharepoint Designer.

But i wasn't planning on throwing it online yet actually.

 

[DarkKnight]

Book, good idea, you realy should ^^, maybe in Dutch first (as that's your native tongue, right?) (to prevent too many spelling errors etc)

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Yeah im dutch, although i doubt this could be better when written in dutch.

Sure, with English i have certain limitations but it just feels right doing it in english =p

 

[DarkKnight]

Lol XD, well, anyway, you should definatly make a book about it XD (I don't realy care how long or short it is realy XD)

 

[The_wand_mirror]

I'm already having a lack of inspiration =p

But im soooooo lazy the last few months -.-

with everything.

 

[NearbyHermit]

A book would be good,I tried once to write ''The Untold Stories of Azeroth'',it was pretty interesting!

And to be honest you should really do something with it,with a good advertisement,people will really love your work!

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Im trying to do Chapter 2 now but i wasn't satisfied with the outcome, i seem to have problems with describing the scenery and all. I will try and get it done today, if not some other time.

EDIT: Added chapter II.

 

[DarkKnight]

As we approached the gate is slowly opened, and as we drove true it the driver – Andrew – quickly greeted the guards as they were busy spinning the wheel to close the gates again.

Drove true it the driver = Drove through it the driver (I think, true atleast isn't right)

There was another thing but I forgot where it was =/ Oh, and btw, Nice chapter ^^.

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Fixed the true's with through.

The only reason while im making every chapter a little bit short is because i want to have a little tension exiting continuation thing at the end to make you curious about the next chapter. Offcourse the hasn't even begun so it aint all that exiting right now.