The Vampire's Bite

[starsreak]

You are walking through a long dark alleyway when you notice the alleyway is deserted. Then you hear footsteps, you can't see where they are coming from but they sound like there coming from everywhere.

Then out of a dark shadow steps a figure. He has untidy bronze-colored hair. He looks very boyish, with chalky pale, skin. He has Black eyes and dark shadows underneath, purplish, bruise like shadows, As if he was suffering from many a sleepless night.

But this was not the reason you cannot look away. You stared because his face was devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful. It was the kind of face you expected to see on the airbrushed faces of a fashion magazine, or painted by an old master as the picture of an angel.

As he walked towards you, his walk almost knocked you breathless; you would expect to see it on the runway, not in a deserted alleyway.

His head leans towards your neck and suddenly he bites you, for he is a vampire.



(you have been bitten, please click here)

 

[Huurka]

Okay.

 

[Ash]

'venome'.

Jeez, illiterate vampires. What next, a MasterHaosis werewolf?

Edit: I actually read your post; allow me to pick up on a few things.

You are walking through an long dark allyway when you nottice you can't see anyone.

Well, apart from the bad spelling of alleyway and notice, I'm surprised that I couldn't see anyone in the dark. You know, it's just a natural talent that I can see things in pitch black n' all.

Then out of a dark shadow steps a figure. He has untidy bronze-coloured hair. He look very boyish, with chalky pale, skin. He has very dark eyes and dark shadows under those eyes - purplish, burise like shadows. As if he was suffering from a sleepless night, or almost done recovering from a broken nose. Though his nose, and all his other features, were straight, perfect, and angular.

So, I CAN see people in the dark now? Speaking of dark, how many times can you use it in a sentience?

And, a purplish shadow that looks like a broken nose?

But this was not the reason You cannot look away. You stared becasue his face was devestatingly, inhumanly beautiful. It was the kind of face you expected to see on the airbrushed faces of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the picture of an angel.

So, he's got a broken-bruise-coloured-shadow-nose that's extremely beautiful? Speak for yourself. I still find your grammar repulsive enough, no need to show us pictures of yourself.

As he walked towards you, his walk almost knocked you brethless, you would expect to see it on the runway, not in a deserted allyway.

His head leans towards your neck and suddenly he bites you and sucks out your blood. As you final memory you see blood - your blood - dripping in crimson drops from his mouth.

... No comment...

(you are the victim. please click here)

nou

 

[The_Silent]

That picture don't shows a ''inhumanly beautiful'' boy, but a very ugly man!

 

[TheDivineBoss]

<Ash's post>

You may critize people, but not thát hard.

Starsreak, improve your spelling, grammar and logica. Everyone -especially new ones- can make mistakes.

 

[starsreak]

Anser

- personly removed due to foul language;

 

[brad.dude03]

Watch your mouth. You want people to play your stupid little game, you better be prepared for the heaps of criticism that are bound to come with it.

 

[Ash]

Nope, it's still really bad. And posted in the wrong section, too.

 

[starsreak]

ok. . .

Watch your mouth. You want people to play your stupid little game, you better be prepared for the heaps of criticism that are bound to come with it.

First off id like to apploigise for my foul mouth and secondly I don't want peopleto play my game simpily to click the link wait like 10 seoconds then close the window.

 

[Rao Dao Zao]

lol?

 

[Ash]

First off id like to apploigise for my foul mouth and secondly I don't want peopleto play my game simpily to click the link wait like 10 seoconds then close the window.

Does that mean you're advertising something?

That's against the rules, buddy D:

 

[Huurka]

I am not your buddy, mate!

 

[brad.dude03]

It's actually "friend", but whatever.

And yes, advertising for clicks is completely against the rules. Give me a good reason to reopen this thread and I might consider it.

~Thread Closed.