Rise of the General: Part I

[Moderator]

17:50, 4th Sep 2011
-Kobas-:
Status: Approved

 

[Vengeancekael]

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Review:

Alright so either you've stolen one of the most popular cinematics and changed the title or I've just had a massive deja-vu.

Anyways, the cinematic is of average quality, the warcraft soundtrack is playing while a custom soundtrack is also playing, the camera work is terrible, half of the time it's locked onto a unit and it should also always move a little.
The dialogue between the family members is kinda off, I mean since when does the wife say 'Hi!', it should be more like 'Hey honey'.
Other than that it was an ok cinematic but too much talking and almost no combat at all.
The dialogues also last too long.

Rating: Pending

 

[GrandDukeAdense]

Okay, thanks a lot of the review! I shall look into these matters at once!!
There will be more combat in the other parts of the movie.
And no, I don't think I've stolen it xD

 

[Vengeancekael]

Oh well there you go, looks like I was wrong, I was just having a deja vu

Rating: 3/5

 

[TheAncient]

1. There is no map description at lobby screen.
2. the custom music and game music occur at the same time and it sounds horrid
3. when you see a battleship and need to tell someone as fast as u can, U DONT GO "hi! "
have u ever seen anyone be ina rush, and then stop. and start with. "hi. " they usually just jump to the chase.
4. omg it is taking him 4 cinametic lines to cut to the chase... he isnt in that much of a hurry for someone who "needs" to tell them.
5. i am sorry but god... the lines. this feels like a bad comedy at first.
6. the kid is talking way too unintelligently for his height. Perhaps he should be made shorter.
7. for a guy with a horse, he does an awful lot of running.
8. again the custom music is horrible when it is played at the same time as the normal music.
9. BLOODY BOAT! OMG! ... insanely unimaginative yet i couldnt help bursting out in laughter. soooo cheesy, yet it feels like that was the intention.
10. i love the terrain job. everywhere u go it feels like it is what it is intended to be. home feels like a home, village feels like a village, and the tavern feels like a tavern. even with the spooky cloak guy in the corner.
11. oh. it seems the spooky guy is important.
12. the time frame between him walking in and getting to the bar was only a few seconds. A cloaked guy staring at u for a few seconds doesnt qualify as spooky.
13. nvm, seems that is part of the story.
14. the cinametic line about the mystery man having a drink alone should be 2 seconds longer
15. the big soldier based on SpellBreaker should be a smidgen shorter. he looks like he is a foot or two taller in RL.
16. why doesnt he take his family with him?! QQ not much of a father leaving his family behind for life.
17. again, for a guy who owns a horse... he does a LOT of walking!
18. i burst out laughing at the guards discussion about the gate xD
19. Dukes Haven is run by Duke... that was imaginative.
20. plus Dukes Hold.
21. thats right. call the first old guy u see a duke. That works.
22. "normally i must bust you but ill let u slide this once." this luck related stuff is overdone in fantasy. gotta tell ya... make it more based on his mood. maybe he had a good lunch or had his feet rubbed 5 min ago.
23. A GUY WHO IS IN TROUBLE DOES NOT GO "whoops, sorry." that is something a child would say. an adult would be something like "my apologies" and then the duke would go "now, what did u want?" and then the guy would say what he wants.
24. "you MUST join cuz of your age"... that is either an insult to the guy, or the duke is a complete dumbass. because at that rate spys and criminals could get in just by being at a certain age.
25. u go from "sure u can join" positive atmopshere to "SEIZE HIM" the next moment? either that has no reason behind it or the duke has mood swings worse than a pregnant woman.
26. i find it amusing how he runs away, from nothing. seriously, there is nothing chasing him.
27. the sailor at the drop of a hat allows a stranger to join his friendship circle.
28. throwing 10 lives away so 2 can run... that crew is suicidal.
29. i do like the sailors lines. they are so... stupid XD

 

[IronTaker56]

what its this a cinematic?

 

[GrandDukeAdense]

A bigs thanks to you too I will improve what is bad, and keep doing more of what is good!
And yes, the sailor is supposed to be cheesy! xD

 

[Grunts_Fadora]

i liked it... cant wait for a part 2

 

[GrandDukeAdense]

Part 2 will be out very soon! Hopefully without the mistakes of this episode!

 

[GrandDukeAdense]

Here is part 2: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/maps-564/rise-general-part-ii-203230/

 

[Warchief Aeon]

LOL Im so eager to see the rest of the story
plz post it as soon as you finish them? lol
serious this rly got my attention... The Second was a bit more awesome than First Tough.

 

[Vongola20th]

This is epic. I love it. I like the sailor and how he speaks. Can't wait for part 3 and so on. Keep it up.

 

[Pyroproctos]

Well. I've watched it. Haven't watched part II yet, but anyway, for part I: (I know, much of it has already been said before)

-Already said before, but the hero really loves walking/running,for a horse owner. Even after having complained about the warmth. (also, the weather might better be hot than warm. 'Warm' is supposed to be bearable and pleasant)

-He comes to see his wife and son, and says 'Hi'... It means it is the first time of the day he sees them... Where did he spend his night?

-The guy goes to the tavern and finds a mysterious stranger. Classical yet effective way to start a chosen-one style story. Anyway, I haven't yet seen Medivh in any other role than the mysterious chosen-one finder. The poor guy really screwed up his carreer. (well, okay, a peon would not be taken seriously int he role, but... there are plenty of other old-chap models, you know?)

-I sincerely liked the mixed-up population at the tavern. Reminds me of Discworld, Star Wars, and stuff. Too bad I did not see the same melting-pot outside the tavern.

-The captain seems a bit talkative towards strangers. Especially for a sailor.
To keep on the captain: ten armed men to get an unknown bugger out of trouble? What a humanist! (anyway, how did he plan this, stucked in the town? Did he phone his men with his mobile?).

-How could a peasant make it so easily until the Duke's throne? If the Duke does not want to be talked to directly, he should improve his personal protection. Even more when no one runs after the guy he ordered to chase.

-Dialogs are too long. Really too long. They're well timed, though. Slow enough to be read entirely, and fast enough not to get bored while waiting the next reply.
Anyway, there are too much texts. Try to shorten the dialogs, by making the characters less talkative: keep the essential. For example: the main fact is that the hero has to go to Duke's Haven to escape conscription, the ship's name is not important (though it's funny).

-About the names: Duke's Haven, Duke's Hold, etc... Actually, I personally don't mind. Real location names are not that imaginative: they're often called from the local barbarians or the use of the town. In the case of the Duke's Haven, I guess it's a port created by a previous Duke (or the current one, he seems old enough to have built such a town).

-I won't talk about the camera, music and other technical stuff, I'm not a skilled cinematic creator. (I'm not even a cinematic creator).

 

[Eldubs]

I like it, rep for you boy!

 

[gtsimos]

satharon empire???? o.o

 

[GrandDukeAdense]

Yes?

 

[gtsimos]

satharon is a name of a friend of mine DD

 

[deepstrasz]

3/5.
It's fun.

-in a hurry but had time for guess questions!?
-walking on foot such a long time?