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60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

I'm hosting an online Exorcism channel

Discussion in 'Something Else' started by fladdermasken, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. fladdermasken

    fladdermasken

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    Tell me all your ghost problems and I will cast them back into hell using algorithms and mathematics.
     
  2. Zombie

    Zombie

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    My cat is behaving oddly. I think he might need to be exorcised.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Heinvers

    Heinvers

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    I think I'm haunted at night, I can hear screams next to my bed. Can you help?
     
  4. Zombie

    Zombie

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    Also, I have a good friend who's a better mathematical exorcist than you, I think I'll choose him instead.

    His equation is as follows: Xn-$20 000=Depossession, in which X marks your bank account.

    His method is guaranteed to work 0,99% of all cases.

    I occasionally hear it from my girlfriend in bed. She might be possessed too now that you say it.
     
  5. The_Taxidermist

    The_Taxidermist

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    Every Halloween I'm visited by the ghost of Christmas future. He keeps showing me my open grave filled with candy and it's just a mess of an omen altogether. Can you get him a diary or something so he can show up on the right day? thx.
     
  6. fladdermasken

    fladdermasken

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    You are clearly haunted by the tormented spirit of Jerzy Neyman. Interval statements about parameters go back a very long way and have taken several distinct spiritual forms. I believe you can banish this spirit by getting an impression of the expectation μ, e.g. the simple mean: µ = 1/n * Ʃ (Xi) within the given interval.

    Typical charlatan shenanigans. You can tell by his sloppy notation.

    He drives a hard bargain. I channeled my inner eye and mentally linked him to AMS mathematical calendar. Hopefully this will resolve everything.
     
  7. Keiji

    Keiji

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    I have a problem with material creatures, whenever I lift something they scream.
     
  8. trolman

    trolman

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    I bet you cant dispell my lack of a girlfriend!
     
  9. The_Taxidermist

    The_Taxidermist

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    Every time I commit heresy I'm erroneously directed to the third circle of the inferno. I'm exhausted and I have tried to lodge a complaint but the underworlds complaints department is a literal bureaucratic hell.
     
  10. Keiji

    Keiji

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    That literally took away all the fun of it.
    - You're slipping, Tax.
     
  11. brad.dude03

    brad.dude03

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    Appeal through me, I know a guy who knows a guy.
     
  12. Zombie

    Zombie

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    hi brad
     
  13. brad.dude03

    brad.dude03

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    i'm not here, shhhhhh
     
  14. fladdermasken

    fladdermasken

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    I only deal in the immaterial. For material questions I refer you to Madonna Louise Ciccone.

    tru.

    You can settle this by recursion. File complaints about the underworld complaints department, i.e. complaints partly defined in terms of itself, and it will recursively loop back on itself infinitely in the fiery plane.

    Hello. As you are now not here physically, that obviously means that I am the only one who can talk to you. I am an online exorcist. The current residents of this establishment wishes to contact you. I can use mathematical channels to summon you like an eldritch horror by creating a psuedo-psychic link between your departed soul and the fabric of this polyester polyamide towel.

    Come forth!
     
  15. brad.dude03

    brad.dude03

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    Goddamnit. *is compelled forth from the depths*
     
  16. Keiji

    Keiji

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    Such immaterial nonsense!