I'm hosting an online Exorcism channel

Level 34
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Messages
4,044
My cat is behaving oddly. I think he might need to be exorcised.

cat_has_a_unique_way_to_drink_out_of_the_tap.jpg
 
Level 34
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Messages
4,044
Also, I have a good friend who's a better mathematical exorcist than you, I think I'll choose him instead.

His equation is as follows: Xn-$20 000=Depossession, in which X marks your bank account.

His method is guaranteed to work 0,99% of all cases.

I think I'm haunted at night, I can hear screams next to my bed. Can you help?

I occasionally hear it from my girlfriend in bed. She might be possessed too now that you say it.
 

fladdermasken

Off-Topic Moderator
Level 38
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Dec 27, 2006
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I think I'm haunted at night, I can hear screams next to my bed. Can you help?
You are clearly haunted by the tormented spirit of Jerzy Neyman. Interval statements about parameters go back a very long way and have taken several distinct spiritual forms. I believe you can banish this spirit by getting an impression of the expectation μ, e.g. the simple mean: µ = 1/n * Ʃ (Xi) within the given interval.

Also, I have a good friend who's a better mathematical exorcist than you, I think I'll choose him instead.

His equation is as follows: Xn-$20 000=Depossession, in which X marks your bank account.

His method is guaranteed to work 0,99% of all cases.
Typical charlatan shenanigans. You can tell by his sloppy notation.

Every Halloween I'm visited by the ghost of Christmas future. He keeps showing me my open grave filled with candy and it's just a mess of an omen altogether. Can you get him a diary or something so he can show up on the right day? thx.
He drives a hard bargain. I channeled my inner eye and mentally linked him to AMS mathematical calendar. Hopefully this will resolve everything.
 

fladdermasken

Off-Topic Moderator
Level 38
Joined
Dec 27, 2006
Messages
3,687
I have a problem with material creatures, whenever I lift something they scream.
I only deal in the immaterial. For material questions I refer you to Madonna Louise Ciccone.

I bet you cant dispell my lack of a girlfriend!
tru.

Every time I commit heresy I'm erroneously directed to the third circle of the inferno. I'm exhausted and I have tried to lodge a complaint but the underworlds complaints department is a literal bureaucratic hell.
You can settle this by recursion. File complaints about the underworld complaints department, i.e. complaints partly defined in terms of itself, and it will recursively loop back on itself infinitely in the fiery plane.

i'm not here, shhhhhh
Hello. As you are now not here physically, that obviously means that I am the only one who can talk to you. I am an online exorcist. The current residents of this establishment wishes to contact you. I can use mathematical channels to summon you like an eldritch horror by creating a psuedo-psychic link between your departed soul and the fabric of this polyester polyamide towel.

Come forth!
 
Level 36
Joined
Mar 15, 2006
Messages
7,947
Hello. As you are now not here physically, that obviously means that I am the only one who can talk to you. I am an online exorcist. The current residents of this establishment wishes to contact you. I can use mathematical channels to summon you like an eldritch horror by creating a psuedo-psychic link between your departed soul and the fabric of this polyester polyamide towel.

Come forth!

Goddamnit. *is compelled forth from the depths*
 
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