Ask a Psychologist Anything

[Vinz]

I'm too much of a prick at times. I think it's a waste to display emotions to certain people. I get annoyed when I receive answers out of context, mostly because it somehow feels that I've heard it all before. I believe that it's all caused by a lack of patience. So, how do I overcome this?

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

could you explain what a volatile personality is?

I have a stress triggered volatile personality, it's only ever triggered twice both times during school exam time period

 

[Ash]

I'm too much of a prick at times. I think it's a waste to display emotions to certain people. I get annoyed when I receive answers out of context, mostly because it somehow feels that I've heard it all before. I believe that it's all caused by a lack of patience. So, how do I overcome this?

Try Mindfulness. These thoughts you have, emotions, whatever you want to call them, they're not you. They will pass, and you will still be here. Just observe them, watch them come like clouds and then watch them leave again.

could you explain what a volatile personality is?

I have a stress triggered volatile personality, it's only ever triggered twice both times during school exam time period

This is really something you should discuss with your mental health professional. I know of no mental illness termed as stress triggered volatile personality, so I really don't want to speculate.

 

[Roland]

Is this true?

 

[Ash]

Is this true?

Yes.

 

[xxdingo93xx]

Okay, here's a situation, followed by a question.
Back in the days, there were some people who brought me only negativity and hatred in my life, for quite some time.
After a few years, our roads have split and we didn't see each other for another couple of years.
Within that time apart, I surpassed those people in most (probably all) aspects of life, because I kinda used this negativity as the fire that keeps me going, after I had that click-moment in my head.
Now, years of no contact have passed and the very same people who gave me a hard time are trying to get in contact with me.
I have no idea why, since we have nothing in common and we've never even been on a neutral level.
Furthermore, I guess I've never forgotten what they did, because I still feel some kind of anger just thinking about how they've been earlier.

Now the question.
What should I do? Should I respond, leave it or act like nothing happened?

 

[Kyrbi0]

...

Now the question.
What should I do? Should I respond, leave it or act like nothing happened?

IAMAP/T, but I think that it's important to recognize the influence of people/things around you and act accordingly (seek out/keep the good, get rid of/avoid the bad). Follow your gut and avoid people/situations that drag you down, keeping you from being your Best Self.

Imagine, however, the worst- & best-case scenarios. Worst-case scenario, your friends are just like they always were (or worse), and getting together with them will (continue to be) no good. Best-case, however... Well, thing is, people change. You said as much yourself, about yourself. : ) So what's stopping them from making changes in their lives? Perhaps they are in a better place as well, and these people (once you guys work out the issues of the past, the anger/guilt/etc) could be a great rekindled friendship for you!

Think of it this way: a long time ago, you had a friend who you dragged down with your antics & demeanor. Years have passed and you've turned your life around, and you'd love to reconnect, maybe even make up for all those years... So you send out some feelers, trying to reestablish contact. What would you want?

TL;DR, go ahead and court their advances. Feel them out & determine their intentions; no harm there. If things look good, move forward with the reconciliation process; if not, cut off ties politely again & move on with your life.

 

[Daffa]

I'm wondering. I might or might not asked this before, but let's just ask AGAIN!

Back in the earlier day. I somewhat develop a sense of "secondary person" inside me.
This person sorts of act as main key of negative thought (most of time) and tend to intervene with my decisions, mostly romance influenced ones. I had to resist it's influence to keep my actual decision on, and it was very bugging.

Sometimes there are clashes in mind back in the day which influence my capability to handle decisive situations. Though I get rid of it mostly now (good riddance), it still have a small fraction of presence inside me, though locked and imprisoned (I can really faintly sense it, even as I type this).

Any explanation on this, your views or maybe from academical side?

I know this is sort of stupid, but yeah, life's full of wonderful mysteries.

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

I actually had the same thing daffa Had, but mine were good

they disappear with age. I lost mine at my first age 19

 

[xxdingo93xx]

Perhaps they are in a better place as well, and these people (once you guys work out the issues of the past, the anger/guilt/etc) could be a great rekindled friendship for you!

They might, but from all that I've heard, they're not much better than they were in the past. If they feel like living in a better situation, that's good for them, but the surroundings obviously don't see/receive anything from that.
By the way, there NEVER was some kind of friendship involved whatsoever. It was just like we were kind of forced to daily see each other, even though I didn't want to. They were the one provoking this bad blood, and now they suddenly are interested in what I'm doing. Probably just natural human curiosity, but still weird.

Anyways, thanks for your reply. Does really sound wise.

 

[Kyrbi0]

They might, but from all that I've heard, they're not much better than they were in the past. If they feel like living in a better situation, that's good for them, but the surroundings obviously don't see/receive anything from that.
By the way, there NEVER was some kind of friendship involved whatsoever. It was just like we were kind of forced to daily see each other, even though I didn't want to. They were the one provoking this bad blood, and now they suddenly are interested in what I'm doing. Probably just natural human curiosity, but still weird.

Anyways, thanks for your reply. Does really sound wise.

Ah, thanks for the correction (about "friendship").

And yeah, sounds like you already have your answer then. That's too bad. :<

No problem.

 

[Roland]

 

[Ash]

Here's your answer.

 

[Gottfried]

Hi!
What can I do with arrogant, selfish, liar, cruel, sadistic, disdainful and introverted people? I "met" some folk years ago, who are a serious factor in my larger environment, they carry the mentioned traits on themselves and they are very cruel to other people, mostly based on their bad childhood filled with violence. I am or sorry no one else, can not help them to process their memories. Do you any ideas to make my life more bearable or help me to avoid them? They deeply hates everyone/everything, which is different than them.

 

[Ash]

Hi!
What can I do with arrogant, selfish, liar, cruel, sadistic, disdainful and introverted people? I "met" some folk years ago, who are a serious factor in my larger environment, they carry the mentioned traits on themselves and they are very cruel to other people, mostly based on their bad childhood filled with violence. I am or sorry no one else, can not help them to process their memories. Do you any ideas to make my life more bearable or help me to avoid them? They deeply hates everyone/everything, which is different than them.

Hello.

Try to figure out why this person is being the way they are, and what their goals are. Also, see if there are any shared goals that you can use to get them to work with, rather than against, you. Highlight the specific values and goals that you have in common. Also, be a team player yourself to help them see the benefit of cooperation. It can help to suggest ways you can work together, e.g.: "Let's divvy up this job to avoid duplicating effort. What part would you like to do?" This strategy works better if the person can be trusted to do their share and not grab all the credit.

But again, this is not my field. I'm just working on thoughts here. This thread seems to be the perfect example of the misconceptions associated with psychology.

 

[Gottfried]

Hello.

Try to figure out why this person is being the way they are, and what their goals are. Also, see if there are any shared goals that you can use to get them to work with, rather than against, you. Highlight the specific values and goals that you have in common. Also, be a team player yourself to help them see the benefit of cooperation. It can help to suggest ways you can work together, e.g.: "Let's divvy up this job to avoid duplicating effort. What part would you like to do?" This strategy works better if the person can be trusted to do their share and not grab all the credit.

But again, this is not my field. I'm just working on thoughts here. This thread seems to be the perfect example of the misconceptions associated with psychology.

Thank you!

 

[Warseeker]

Why a bad person does kill a good person but a good person does not kill a bad person?

 

[KILLCIDE]

What's the best way to handle a situation where a family member, friend, or acquaintance claims to have been raped? Due to the many false rape allegations I've seen in the media, my initial instinct is to ask for evidence. However, I believe that people tend to not report sexual assault because they have the fear of people not believing them, and I rather not have someone distance themselves from me because of my instinct to find out if something is really true or not.

 

[Wasabee]

How do you differentiate a psychologist to a sociologist?
They're pretty much the same.

 

[Kyrbi0]

How do you differentiate a psychologist to a sociologist?
They're pretty much the same.

They are totes not the same:

"-ology" = "the study of"
"socio-" = "society/people/groups"
"psycho-" = "the mind/brain"

So while Sociology is (loosely) "the study of societies/peoples (esp. in groups)", Psychology is (loosely) "the study of the mind/brain".

The closest you could get to a connection is that, in the loosest of senses, Sociology is like "group/applied Psychology"; essentially you're asking the same questions, but of groups of people rather than specific persons.

~~~

You guys are asking loads of great questions... If Ash was a therapist. Or a social worker. But he's not; as a psychologist he is a 'scientist' of the brain/mind, specifically

...attention and memory, particularly how these concepts relate to how we cognise generally, interact in the world, and the role our body plays in motivating thought.

This thread seems to be the perfect example of the misconceptions associated with psychology.

Boy-howdy. :<

So on that note:

I have big problems with attention. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD, and was prescribed Ritalin. (All pill-pushing/over-ADHD-diagnosing controversies aside), as I grew up I ended up going off the pills with little (no?) side effects, and have been pretty much a normal, functioning (hahaha) adult ever since... Except for in recent years (and maybe farther back, too). I'm pretty much free of the 'H'(yperactivity) bit, but I wonder sometimes if my ADD didn't just transition rather than go away.

I have serious problems focusing my attention on a given task until the last possible minute (and nowadays, sometimes not even that). Used to be I could get away with that in high school & still make good grades, but now with a family (2nd son born a few days ago), full-time work, and being in college (getting bacherlor's in an engineering field), I find myself slipping. A lot.

I find it all too easy to focus/memorize certain, exciting topics; modding ideas for Warcraft, story ideas for writing, color pie interactions for MtG, etc... But often when I force myself to focus on a given (not-so-exciting/interesting/enjoyable) task, I will literally fall asleep, if not barely able to stay focused. Mind wandering, easily distracted, easily self-tricked...

There are probably lots of questions to ask, but one might be: would it be wise to try and get back on the medications? I am loath to be dependent but if it's as simple as "you never really cured yourself, just get back on it", that would be amazing... Then again, is seeking the pill just a weak way out of solving my own (procrastination/motivation/attention/etc) problems?

(aaaaand whoops, a big therapy (even psychiatry) bent to *that* question. Oh wells)

 

[Gottfried]

Why a bad person does kill a good person but a good person does not kill a bad person?

If you let me an answer, bad people usually not care about other people... and good people is mostly feel grace and able to spare the other person. But for a good answer, please seek Tvtropes. It contains MUCH and MUCH about characters. (Good, Bad, any other people)

 

[WhiteFang]

I have,wow now I can't find the correct words and why do I always type what I think?I just do it.
ok that's not the question,but if you would like to answer that I wouldn't mind

Anyway,I have 'made it through' depression(Diagnosed,not by self) and I find myself different,just different.I feel like I'm not myself,and I can't socialize again.I used to be active and hang out with friends,yet now I sit quietly by my own.I've lost my passion and excitement,and I fear to do stuff because I think others will hate me.What can I do?

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

I didn't know love has a relation with pyschologie!

Love is a part of the brain.
So everything that have to do with the brain, have too to do with pyschologie.

-------------
@Ash,
How extreme could the questions be?, because i have the worst question.
The question could beat every replay here together.
----------
@Ash,
Welp,i changed my mind ,the story is too good for the site.

 

[Direfury]

I laugh in my sleep. I also tend to lash out physically and/or verbally when someone tries to wake me up, even if I went out of my way beforehand to ask them to wake me. I have literally no memory of this ever happening, but it seems to happen often.

Why?

 

[Stefan.K]

I laugh in my sleep. I also tend to lash out physically and/or verbally when someone tries to wake me up, even if I went out of my way beforehand to ask them to wake me. I have literally no memory of this ever happening, but it seems to happen often.

Why?

My friend has this issue, aswell. He even talks to me in the midle of the night and tomorrow he doesn't remember a word talking with me. I heard him singing once in a dream, lol.

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

My friend has this issue, aswell. He even talks to me in the midle of the night and tomorrow he doesn't remember a word talking with me. I heard him singing once in a dream, lol.

Hahaha,sounds like my sister.
Once she have ask me to bring her food.
And i have think that she was awake,because she have look like,like she was awake.
So i bring and put the food in front of her.
Then she wake up,and she is like"why is the food here".
Then i said "because u asked for it".
...
Welp,this is it.
My sister is weird while she sleeping,and she know it.
I just mean when im sleeping im like dead.
Just saying.
-Added:
I google translated something.
So i know now to tell u, that my sister is sleepwalking.
So my sister does not ever sleepwalking like this above.
That happend only once.
So she basicly is every night talking in sleep.
@Ash
Could u explain why this happen.

 

[LimitingBounds]

How do you get rid of the kind of obsession/fixation that seems like an unconscious urge to at least 'get in touch' with the person?

 

[pyf]

How do you get rid of the kind of obsession/fixation that seems like an unconscious urge to at least 'get in touch' with the person?

Is it related in any way to that most vibrant and sincere testimony inspired by Erato herself, about a delicate poet's most profound feelings and aspirations ?

 

[LimitingBounds]

Is it related in any way to that most vibrant and sincere testimony inspired by Erato herself, about a delicate poet's most profound feelings and aspirations ?

LMAO. No love, it's an actual case.

 

[neven1]

Thoughts of suicide keeps me busy most of the time,should i stop?

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

Thoughts of suicide keeps me busy most of the time,should i stop?

I'm not a Psychologist,but i give you just a advice for your own good.
Try to be more optimistic,and try to see the good in the world.
So think about your family,with that i want say to think about the other people,that dont want see u thinking about suicides.
So in main,try to be more optimistic.

 

[NFWar]

I hate what i have become: a pathetic nobody in a large croud yet alone. A piece of rotten meat. I used to have goals and dreams, i was different, i tried to correct myself. But all for nothing, another backtrack into a delusion i cant remove, i cant escape. People around me say good things about me, yet i feel no better. A single bad memory in wrong time, a single tiny mistake, and all goes to self pity and hate all over. I feel alone, useless, pathetic sack of negativity. Why?

 

[JesusHipster]

I hate what i have become: a pathetic nobody in a large croud yet alone. A piece of rotten meat. I used to have goals and dreams, i was different, i tried to correct myself. But all for nothing, another backtrack into a delusion i cant remove, i cant escape. People around me say good things about me, yet i feel no better. A single bad memory in wrong time, a single tiny mistake, and all goes to self pity and hate all over. I feel alone, useless, pathetic sack of negativity. Why?

These is a book example of the lack of ironic memes in patient's body. I'd prescribe you with ironic suicide memes therapy and scrolling pictures of doggos for at very least an hour a day.


Speaking seriously, there might be physical reasons for your current state. Contact your local doctor and etc etc ASAP.

 

[Archimmonde]

How can I change and be a better person people dint like me like this

 

[pyf]

Probably by growing up and wiseing up (imho not necessarily in that order, btw) ?

Now this is only a wild guess...

 

[Idaero Ace]

Suddenly, this month, I am losing motivation to do anything, even to something I really like (drawing, martial arts). How can I get my motivation back?

edit: Just read your motivation thread. I think I am only of challenge, since its holiday now, sp I do nothing. Things I wanted do when I am busy just gone now.