[ALTERNATE ROLEPLAY] Chickens & Cakes: Resistance Against the Electronic Asses

[Cherrymage]

Chickens & Cakes: Resistance Against the Electronic Asses (a.k.a. C&C: RAEA or C&C: Resistance Against the Electronic Asses) About A parody of RACC Roleplays and Westwood fans' resistance against the evil Electronic Arts, this alternate RACC roleplay brings joy to those who dream to crush EA or annihilate Westwood. Rules The rules contains [OFFICIAL] Roleplay Guide and other rules which consists of: Joining a faction, you cannot first nanosecond become a general or other high-ranking members. Only one Major Event may happen at a time. Definition of Major Event: An event which is huge, oftens require cooperation from other roleplayers and usually takes a long time to complete. You may not make connection the story of this RP with another RP, this means that what happened in this RP will not affect another RP. you may however, talks about past that has relation with another RP. Examples: Not Allowed (2 Examples) C&C: RAEA: 1. A enters C&C Earth 2. A is slashed on his chest, and he falls. Another RP : 1. A leaves the planet, to a place named C&C Earth 2. B, who's still at RP World can sense that A at Jupiter dies to C's blade. Allowed Another RP : Insert Past Warfare Here C&C: RAEA: "Honestly, it reminds me of the past. Insert Past Warfare Here." Black Marks and Warnings Not following the listed rules results in a black mark. A warning will be given before black mark, notifying the user. If the user edits his/her post the black mark will not be given else he/she will receive a black mark. Three black marks will result in a temporary ban, while repeating after being temporarily banned results in a PERMANENT one. The Suburban Almanac This so-called "Suburban Almanac" is an e-infobook and manual of C&C: RAEA. Informations about the currently available factions and other stuffs can be found in this Almanac. Do please note that the Almanac is still under construction. Also, contents in the Almanac may change without prior notice. Start reading the Suburban Almanac here! Status Directive255 the Cakemaster Active WhiteFang Inactive Edge45 Inactive Daffa the Mage Inactive Devin Inactive Leo Akastenix Inactive

 

[WhiteFang]

Off-topic:Also,one is not allowed to eat more chicken than me

 

[Cherrymage]

@AS: lol
============================

Information Factions There are currently 4 factions in the Roleplay, if you want to create a new faction, be sure to register first. List of currently available and dead factions: Westwood Forces Mental Omega Force Classic Legion Reloaded Army Generals' Association Dune Force Electronic Asses Ruskie-Americorn Coalition Empire of the Rotten Sun Shittyhood of Shod Gayass Doges Chicken Empire Cake Empire of Gazya (Origin: from RACC Roleplays) People's Republic of China Democratic People's Republic of Korea Shadow Empire Airkings Virusing Legion More detailed information about the factions can be found in the Suburban Almanac.

 

[WhiteFang]

*starts eating R50000's worth of chicken*

 

[Darko_Darkking]

So... Do we fight Electronic Asses or Electronic Art?
The description...

 

[Cherrymage]

We fight Electronic Asses, a parody of Electronic Art

 

[Daffa]

I'll go with a faction that you all should be pretty much known from RACC : Shadow Empire
Though here it's far more advanced and technological based. Am I allowed, Directive?

 

[Cherrymage]

@Daffa: erh... yes, you are allowed.

P.S.
The roleplay will only start after I write my first RP post (very long one).

 

[Daffa]

Kay, thanks.
Be waiting for the first post.

 

[Darko_Darkking]

Lol, I though the Suburban Almanac are from PvZ

 

[Cherrymage]

*one day...*
*As he's somewhat bored, he decides to play a new antic...*
*do you guess Fegelein? Correct!*
Hermann Fegelein the Anticmaster: Let's try something new...
*use his powers to summon Directive255, Yuri Prime, Jaina, Lady Darkscale, Sabercake, Kofi, Gilbert, Regime Haruhi, Regime Honey, Regime Reiko, Regime Hikaru, Regime Kaoru, Regime Yuriko and Regime Izumi to his place*
Directive255 the Cakemaster: Where the heck is this shitty place?
Yuri Prime: Where am I?
Hermann Fegelein the Anticmaster: *laughs sadistically* You won't escape my antics! Hehe...
*rubs his hands, and gives an evil smilie*
Regime Haruhi Fujioka: Hey, what are you doing?
Hermann Fegelein the Anticmaster: Why should I tell you, little Spring (Haru and Haru-chan means 'The Spring Season' in Japanese and Hopenese)? You will know, in time...
Sabercake: Hey, release us now! Hey!
Directive255 the Cakemaster: Calm down, Sabercake. He won't let us do so. *sighs* Any pleas will be in vain.
Hermann Fegelein the Anticmaster: Eh, Gunsche! Fire the device!
Otto Gunsche the Stupid Giant: Understood.
*Gunsche activates a mysterious device*
*a wormhole is created*
*the wormhole sucks all Gazya champions (Directive, Yuri Prime, Jaina, Regime Haruhi... *coughs*)*
Directive255 the Cakemaster: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*all Gazya champions fall unconscious*

*at the same time*
*in the Westwood Fortress (similar to Yuri's Command Center in vanilla YR)*
Uri: Damn, we lost a total of 7 large bases to those EA bastards...
Premier Volkov: I was barely killed by those EAs, what a close call...
Uri: We must find a way...

 

[Edge45]

lol :>, I didn't think the war between EA and Westwood still goes, dunno which side to pick, both were pretty good for me

 

[Daffa]

@Directive, is my Shadow Empire faction approved? Also, take note that this Shadow Empire is different than the one I use in the Roleplay, let's say alternate. I'll make it's details later.

 

[WhiteFang]

@Directive.FEGELEIN!FEGELEIN!FEGELEIN!FEGELEIN!
-------------------------------------
Archimonde Supreme The Chickenmaster:Bring me more chicken!
*chicken minions rushes to get more chicken*

 

[Devin]

I'd like to play as china from C&C:Genrals (yes it is created by westwood) at the Westwood forces.

 

[Cherrymage]

@Daffa: Info about your factions?

@Devin: Okay, you can play as China after I add in Generals' Association (C&C Generals Force)

 

[Cherrymage]

*2 hours later*
Yunru: I need to meet Uri, I've captured some of the foreigners.
Elite Guard: Uri! Lady Yunru wishes to meet you.
Uri: Let her in, guards.
Elite Guard: Okay. Lady Yunru, you're allowed in.
Yunru: Thanks.
*smilies*
*enters Uri's personal office*
Uri: What's the matter, Yunru?
Yunru: Some foreigners are recently discovered in our regions. Yuriko, Izumi, the Hitachiin twins, Honey, Reiko and Haruhi appear to be with the foreigners as well. I suspect that they're new recruits of the E-Asses.
Uri: Foreigners? Interesting. Yunru, lead me to those foreigners.
Yunru: Okay.
*Yunru leads the way*
*Uri and Yunru arrive in the Interrogation Roon #3*
Yunru: There those aliens are, Lord Uri.
Uri: Thanks. You may leave now.
*Yunru leaves*
*to be continued*

 

[WhiteFang]

*the God of the Chickens approaches*
*Archimonde Supreme and Doge eats him*

 

[Cherrymage]

*Uri approaches the foreigners*
Uri: Greetings, foreigners. I am Uri, the primary supreme leader of the Westwood Forces-- oh wait, are you... *looks at Yuri Prime* Yuri? Young brother Yuri?
Yuri Prime: Yes, and I humbly pledge the Cakemaster Directive255 for eternity! How are you, Uri?
Uri: I am fine, brother, thanks for asking. Wait, did you mention Cakemaster?
Yuri Prime: Yes, bro. There he is -- Directive255 the Great Cakemaster. *points at Directive255* You may call him Cakey, if you want.
Uri: The rumored Second Cakemaster of the Omega Multiverse? Impressive. And, those *points at Regime champions* must be the Regime of the Rising Sun champions and top officials?
Regime Haruhi Fujioka: Yes, we are. I am Regime Haruhi Fujioka -- the Great Empress of the Regime of the Rising Sun, who also serves the Cakemaster for eternity!
Uri: *nods hsi head while listening* Hmm... What 'bout you, erh... identifical twins? I have difficulties differenting each of you...
Regime Hikaru and Regime Kaoru: Haha, can't differentiate us apart?
Regime Haruhi Fujioka: *to the twins* Stop playing around, Hikaru and Kaoru. Uri, this *points at Hikaru, who is on the right* is Hikaru, and this is *points at Kaoru, who is on the left* Kaoru. Sometimes, they will get naugthy and plays tricks on us, but they nevertheless listen to my words.
Uri: Nice. And this... loli-shota and the dark girl over there?
Regime Haruhi Fujioka: Oh. The loli-shota is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but you can call him as Honey. Even my powers and authority is far greater than his, I still call him Honey-senpai. And, that is Reiko Kanazuki, an expert in black magics. She.........
*the talk continues*
Gylaj: ...the Great Ghost.
Uri: I have been enjoying my conversation with you all. *smilies* I'll help you Gazyanese rebuild your great empire in this universe!
Directive255 the Cakemaster: Thank you very much, Uri. Are they any foods? We're hungry.
Uri: You can have your meal at our cafeteria. As VIPs, you'll get all your food for free. If you're not hungry, you can rest in the living room, wander around the Fortress and rest in your specially prepared rooms. I have other things to do, but if you have any questions, you may ask any of our staffs here.
*leaves*
Directive255 the Cakemaster: Ah, we're hungry. Let's have a delicious snack there...
*all Gazya elites gone for cafeteria*

 

[Daffa]

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/pastebin.php?id=7lj1cy
Still WIP
Will start their arrival soon

 

[Cherrymage]

*Citadel of Devilish Asses, EA*
Kenji: Emperor, sorry to be bearwr of bad news, but, recently, some foreigners who called themselves Gazyanese have arrived into this realm and decided to help Westwood.
Emperor Yoshiro: Gazyanese... I haven't heard about them ever since I was born. Haruhi, find more infomations about the so-called Gazyanese.
Haruhi Fujioka: I obey.
*Haruhi leaves*
Emperor Yoshiro: Tamaki! Lead the Ouran Corps to raid the Phoenix Base of the Westwood's Reloaded Army.
Tamaki Suoh: Another task! Thanks! *jumps excitedlt* Bravo! Emperor! Mon ami! Mon ami!
Emperor Yoshiro: *smilies* Thanks, peasant Tamaki. Make sure to kill or bring prisoners of those Westwood fools!
*Tamaki leaves to prepare an operation*

 

[WhiteFang]

*Chicken minions returns*
Chicken minion:Sorry master but apparently we can't buy any chicken without creating a EA account and paying them R500 each week
Archimonde Supreme The Chickenmaster:WHAT?!!?!!?!?!?!?

 

[Daffa]

@Directive, what planet this RP takes place?

 

[Cherrymage]

@Daffa: An alternate Earth.

 

[Daffa]

@Directive : thank you
================
*A portal opens at Borneo Island*
*Emperor Daffa comes out from the portal, followed by General Aurora, General HaltWatch and General Xeraz*
Emperor Daffa : "after our victory at Vestroya, we might consider moving somewhere else. I'm tired of staring at our lands with no foes."
General Aurora : "so, Emperor, shall we stat building a base?"
Emperor Daffa : "not yet, we should really check the field. For some reason I feel the grounds aren't very strong for heavy buildings."
General Aurora : "I see, then we should send some of our Footmans and Shadow Archers."
Emperor Daffa : "that would be best. Xeraz, check the nearby areas for some resources, of course I'm talking for ores or such, not woods, these forests are pretty big to supply us for years to come."
General Xeraz : "as you wish."

 

[Cherrymage]

Uri: Send this message to the Chickenmaster.

Greetings, Chickenmaster. I know you can't purchase any more chickens without creating an EA account, but hey, you can also create a Westwood account!

There are many benefits if you create a Westwood account:

• Creating a Westwood account is free!
• You will get promotions and free chickens if you register a Westwood account!
• You will be able to play our games online with other players via CnCNet!
• You will get Uri's blessing!
• In order to get more chickens, you won't have to pay the annoying R500 every week to EA, provided that you're registered a Westwood account.
• And much more...

Messenger: Yes, Lord Uri.
*sends message to Archimonde Supreme the Chickenmaster*

 

[WhiteFang]

*reads the message*
Archimonde Supreme The Chickenmaster:This is great news!
*create a Westwood Account*

 

[Cherrymage]

Kenji: My Emperor, seems that the Chickenmaster registered a Westwood account instead of an EA account...
*Yoshiro's temper rises up greatly*
Emperor Yoshiro: Se... seriously?! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! FUCK! SHIT! Westwood now gains a new supporter! Curse you, Uri the Unishit!
*starts ranting*

 

[Daffa]

*General Xeraz forces finds an ore field and reports to Emperor Daffa*
Emperor Daffa : "alright! we're setting our base there!"
*an MCV arrives*
*MCV deploys into Command Hall at designated location*

 

[WhiteFang]

*a video appears on AS's phone*

*AS is shocked and in raged*
*AS uploads a video on youtube

 

[Cherrymage]

Gilies: Emperor, the Chickenmaster has uploaded a video on YouTube!
*shows Yoshiro the video*

*Yoshiro is unhappy*
Emperor Yoshiro: Natasha Volkova! I have a mission for you!
Natasha Volkova: Yes, emperor?
Emperor Yoshiro: Assassinate the Chickenmaster. Make sure he's dead.
Natasha Volkova: Okay.
*Natasha leaves*

 

[Cherrymage]

P.S. Added in Generals' Association and Dune Forces to Westwood. Also added Shadow Empire to the list.

*few hours later*
*arrives in Chickenmaster's throne room*
Natasha Volkova: There he is... this weak chicken molester (AS)...
*snipes AS from afar, hidden*

 

[WhiteFang]

*a giant pile of chicken that fell over stops the bullet*

 

[Cherrymage]

Natasha Volkova: Damn... now I'll have to reload again...
*reloads her sniper rifle*
Natasha Volkova: This time I must success and make the Emperor happy.
*aims carefully*
Natasha Volkova: Okay... Three... Two... One... GO!!!
*push the trigger*
*the deadly poison sniper bullet approaches AS at great speed*

Proselyte Selfie: Hmm... let's ambush this poorly defended EA supply base...
*sends some Initiates and Opus Custom Tanks to attack the supply base*
*within a few seconds, the supply base fell at the hands of Selfie*

 

[WhiteFang]

* a chicken minion steps in front of AS*
*he is hit by the bullet*

 

[Devin]

*A Chinese is seen controlling a tactical nuke*
The Chinese: "China bring peace!"
*The Tactical nuke is launched and hits EA networks*
The Chinese: "And Products!"
*A Chinese factory is seen at city creating clothes under the brand name "Won jao tun jeng hi"*

 

[Cherrymage]

*EA networks in Eastern Russia is devastated*
Prince Tatsu: Father, China has launched a tactical nuke to our network in Eastern Russia.
Emperor Yoshiro: Hmm... fine, I'll make China pay for its crimes! Robert, lead an operation to destroy northeastern part of China. Show no mercy.
Robert Bingham: Yes, my Emperor.
*leaves*

*few minutes later*
*deploys a Ruskie-Americorn base in northeast China*
*some units are trained*
*generators are built*
*Pillboxes, Conscript Guns, Tesla Coils and Spectrum Towers are built*

*after few hours of constructing the base and military*
Robert Bingham: "Okay, guys, let's rock!"
*the military cheers*
*morales rises greatly*
*invades a Chinese Base*

Uri: "Seems that EA launched an invasion of China after being nuked. Those e-asses must be busy in China."
Uri: "Michael McNeil!"
Michael McNeil: "Yes, what is it, Lord Uri?"
Uri: "Lead an assault at Base Greed, one of the large bases of the EA. Thank you."
Michael McNeil: "Okay, those EA will suffer, after what they've done."
*Michael McNeil leaves*

*hours later, in Borneo Island, 35 km away from Daffa's new base*
*a GDI MCV arrives*
*some Reloaded Army units have also arrived, escorting the GDI MCV*
*MCV deploys*
GDI EVA: "New Construction Options!"
Michael McNeil: "Nice."
*builds a GDI Power Plant*
*builds walls to cover GDI Construction Yard*
*builds a GDI Barracks*
*trains some Light Infantry, Disc Throwers and Medics*
*builds another GDI Power Plant*
*builds some Component Towers*
*builds Vulcan Cannon Plugs onto Component Towers, making them Vulcan Cannons*
*some EA Peacekeepers (RA3 Unit) approach*
GDI EVA: "Warning, EA units approaching!"
*the squad attacks the base*
Michael McNeil: "Send some units over there!"
*some infantry are sent there, while defenses fire at the Peacekeepers*
Peacekeeper #1: "We are the real Peacekeepers, so fuck off, you Westwood fools!"
Michael McNeil: "Blasphemy! How dare you insult the great Westwood! Guys, punish 'em in the name of Lord Uri!"
Disc Thrower #1: "With pleasure!"
*GDI troops eliminate Peacekeepers with pleasure*

 

[Daffa]

*Emperor Daffa's base starts getting bigger with many buildings setup (check Shadow Empire Almanac)*
Emperor Daffa : "increase the intensity of our defenses!"
*builds a lot of Shadow Towers (attack land and air units, invisible unless attacks)*

 

[Cherrymage]

Emperor Yoshiro: Seems that a new force has also arrived (Shadow Empire). Suki, contact their leader.
Suki: Okay, Emperor.
*starts aloud telepathy with Emperor Daffa*
Suki: Greetings, stranger. I am Suki, the intelligence officer of the Empire of the Rotten Sun. Would you mind if we have a talk?
Suki: There is a large Westwood settlement (Michael's base in Borneo) near yours. Those Westwood idiots are cruel, evil and ruthless. Join EA, and you'll be blessed and guaranteed safety!
*waiting Daffa response*

 

[Daffa]

Emperor Daffa : *speaks through telepathy* "first, introduce a little detail of these Westwood and your EA. Then I will start considering."

 

[Cherrymage]

Suki: "Okay, first of all, Westwood is a bloodthirsty, evil, crazy, and ruthless terrorist organization. Made up of insane idiots who have gone nuts and vacuous fools who are deceived by propagandas, Westwood wants to have total domination over the world and enslave everyone who exists."
Suki: "Those who oppose Westwood will be sent into concentration camps, Grinders (YR and Mental Omega Epsilon Building) or be mind controlled. If you don't join EA, you are very vulnerable and will likely be decimated and dominated."
Suki: "Unlike the evil Westwood, we Electronic Asses are good peacekeepers and joymakers, bringing tranquility and happiness all over the world. We free everyone from the totalitarian Westwood's control and also makes fun games for everyone to enjoy."
*waiting Emperor Daffa response*

Michael McNeil: "Attack this base (Base Greed)!"
*many GDI troops approach*
*beat every EA Peacekeepers on sight*
*lay siege on Base Greed*
*few minutes later*
*all EA buildings are wrecked*
*another GDI MCV is sent*
*the GDI MCV deploys*
*builds up another base, named Base Noble*

 

[Daffa]

Emperor Daffa : "I will consider it." *cuts telepathy*
Emperor Daffa : "so, this world has two major oppositions eh? General HaltWatch, I want you to find any forces that also resides within this island and give me a report about their defenses."
General HaltWatch : "as ordered." *leaves with some Footmans, Shadow Archers and Prime Tanks*

 

[Cherrymage]

*in the Westwood Fortress*
*after a game of Dune 2000 with Gazya elites via CnCNet*
Uri: "It was a good match..."
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Yeah, we enjoyed our times here, Uri. Sorry, but I am afraid that we must leave now. We want to rebuild the Cake Empire of Gazya in this world."
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Would you mind if you escort us? We're going to start in Antarctica."
Uri: "Yes, we'll gladly escort you on your way to Antarctica. And, as a gift, I'll send 6 Core Defenders to you. They pledge their loyalty to you, Cakemaster."
Uri: "Kane, you're in charge while I'm away for a moment."
Kane: "The Shadow Messiah obeys."
Uri: "We can go now, pal."
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Oh thanks, homie. I greatly thank you from the bottom of my heart. Let's go."
*Gazya elites depart, with escort*

*few hours later*
*arrives in central eastern Antarctica*
Uri: "Pal, is this where you'll set up your Cake Empire?"
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Yes, homie."
Uri: "I have to return. Goodbye. Take care."
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Bye!"
*Uri and some of his units leaves*
Directive255 the Cakemaster: "Okay, I have an exact blueprint of the Grand Luxurious Mansion..."
*rebuilds Grand Luxurious Mansion (from RACC roleplays)*
*Epsilon MCVs deploy into Epsilon Construction Yards*
*working on building the capital*

 

[Devin]

*A Han gunship arrives and bombard hostile forces with nuclear missiles and drops a nuclear bomb and afterwards returns to base*
*At the base*
Red Guard: "China is in danger!"
*Chinese forces cheer with a loud voice saying "China!!!"*
*A Massive strike force containing:3 Overlords, 5 Gatling cannons , 20 Battlemaster tanks, 3 Banshee ECMs, 2 Inferno Cannons, 50 Red Guards and a Propaganda Airship march to hostile forces*
*The Strike force attacks the hostile forces*
*The Propaganda airship uses its ability to outrage Chinese troops to increase their combat effectivity*
Propaganda Airship: "No one can stand against the might of china!"

 

[Cherrymage]

*EA quickly loses some forces and bases*
Oleg Vodnik: You... all of you... are fucking annoying!!! Taste the wrath of the Russians and Electronic Asses! Gyaa!
*sends some Destructors (renamed RA3 Apocalypse Tank), Tesla Tanks and Hammer Tanks to counter the Chinese army*
*sends Improved Terror Drones to infect Battlemaster Tanks*

 

[Edge45]

Haha, I'll join the General's Association as America Airforce General
---------------
Propaganda Airship: "No one can stand against the might of china!"
*Out from the skies came the massive Helicarrier and came out of it are the King Raptors, Alpha Auroras, Stealth Fighters, Stealth Comanches, Blackhawks, B1-Bombers, Ospreys, Raptors, F-15s, Cobras, Apaches, Little Birds, Auroras and all sorts of flying units from C&C Generals came to aid the Chinese Force*
General Granger: Bombs away Punks!,
*Starts attacking the EA army*

 

[Daffa]

*General HaltWatch spots Westwood bases*
General HaltWatch : "commander, I'm sending the coordinates and the image of the defenders."
*send data*
Emperor Daffa : "nicely done. Now, HaltWatch, I want you to return here, we will consolidate our positions here. This island belongs to the Shadow Empire!"
*Shadow Empire forces increase their forces*
*a portal opens and reinforcement arrives for Shadow Empire, consisting of Prime Tanks and Shadow Archers*
Emperor Daffa : "most of our technologies from our original place, Vestroya, seems to malfunction here, or so it seems. Either they're incompatible or we lack the same resources. We need to steal some technologies to bolster our ranks."
General Aurora : "your orders?"
Emperor Daffa : "prepare an assault force, we're raiding all bases on this island."
General Aurora : "as you wish."
*General Aurora prepares the strikeforce*
Emperor Daffa : "before commencing, we better find any nearby islands to capture. I see an island to the south and another to the east (Java and Sulawesi)."
*the base, which is apparently located at South Borneo starts expanding it's defenses*

 

[Cherrymage]

*some EA forces, with a Rotten MCV, approaches*
*they all cannot see any of Shadow Empire forces in South Borneo*
*deploys MCV*
*builds a base, very close to Daffa base without noticing any of Shadow Empire presence*

 

[Daffa]

*Emperor Daffa sees the EA forces from the base (duh xD)*
Emperor Daffa : "well, seems they got some interesting techs for us to use. *telepathy to HaltWatch* HaltWatch, try to infiltrate the base at your sight for any tech to steal."
General HaltWatch : "understood." *moves his forces near the base, aiming for a Battle Lab*
Emperor Daffa : "now, time to steal some more techs."
*the base prepares Sabotage Teams*

 

[Cherrymage]

*Rotten Sunburst Drones detect Shadow Empire troops from a distance*
Kenji: Quick! Sell the Nanotech Mainframes immediately!
*sells all Nanotech Mainframes*