10:59, 27th June 2009, by Linaze
First of all, this cinematic was fairly boring to watch because it was so slow paced, the music was too repetitive, the terrain could've used some more environmental doodads in the forest areas. The camera work was a bit stiff from time to time, and the protagonist ran out of the camera a few times. There were lots of spelling & grammar errors, almost one per transmission. The presentation was nice, at least, even though it'd make sense to add some screenshots into the screenshots box that's currently empty.

Rejected with a 2/5 (lacking) rating

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19:34, 27th June 2009
Linaze: Terrain has been improved and so has the English, I still think it's a bit slow paced though, and the camera work could be a bit improved, but meh, it's good enough now.

Approved with a 2/5 (lacking) rating

Sorry, if i've used a model and your name is not on the Credits list. please post a msg or private or somthing telling me so i can give you credits.

Review

1) Description - Description at this site contain several typos and could be organize such as using colour or hidden tag.

2) Terrain - As far as I seen, the orc camp show a sign of destructible/doodad usage. As for the forest scene, it show a abnormal sign of lifeless forest. Despite the weather and the forest condition, it is weird not to have wild animal.

3) Camera - I have to said you did't do a good job over this matter. The blademaster have walk out of the camera sight for quite a time and it took the camera for about 3 seconds to switch to him.

This happen not only once, but several times.

4) Animation - N/A

5) Sound & Sound Effect - Hardly any sound and sound effect could be use. For example, at the point where the main character have a flashback of his memories. There is no sound of electric hitting him even though I saw a electric had been unleash to him.

The only sound I heard was the thumping sound. The sound was cut off soon after the flashback scene end.

6) Music - Music was cut off after the flashback scene.

7) Scripting/Triggering - I have to said you are not using precise timing for your cinematic. You are using wait action, wait action are not accurate and probably the main reason of why your camera isn't properly setup.

You should use precise timing cinematic such as countdown timer or real variable in order to get everything execute at the right time.

8) Replayability - The typo error, poor camera timing and the sound that had been suddenly cut off after the memories scene kill the replayability values of the map.



Overall, it need a lot more polishing especially at scripting/triggering in order to get the camera view at the right angle and right time.

2/5 from me.

Note : Replayability is not the reason why I vote 2/5.

Zelda.Alex said:

May contain spoilers

1.....At place where I choose maps.
>>"SG Allies" instead of "SG Alies" if I am correct. Also what is SG?
>>"Anubis" instead of "Annubis"
2.....on the loading screen it should be scene instead of sence.
3......."too thick" instead of "to thick"
4......."I'm going" instead of "Im going"
5......"Excellent" instead of "Excelent"
6.......Tainthar says that "This was the right way to go..."---In this I have a question. If Tainthar wasn't able to know which of the 2 paths he should take just a few moments before then how come he knows that it was the right path now?
7......Tainthar had passed through the two beams (the one after Anubis is shown). In the next scene it is shown that he hasn't passed through them. There is some confusion here. Also didn't he just see them before he passed through them?
8.......You can make the description better by adding screenshots and using color, bold etc.
9......Birds have been used enough in the map but other wildlife isn't much in parts of the map.
10.....At some places the sound effects were not enough. Also you can try to make the music volume little higher. Another effect should be associated with the ghost's speech.
11.....sometimes Tainthar wasn't shown in the scene & the camera was just focusing on empty land. Take care of that.
12......Look at the screenshot that Septimus has given. In that you will see the white portion on the top left side. This didn't look good. The same thing was repeated at many places.
13.....Grammar & spelling mistakes should be taken care of.


This one was more interesting then the previous part. Good Work but will be needing improvements.
2/5 & Vote for approval

Click to expand...

Yeah, btw No:6 << Tainthar knows the right way its just he cant see the right way becuase the fog is too thick and i think i've updated alot of the rest

Updated and fixed..
My Review


Camera
The camera was decent, but not great.

Music/Sounds
Added Music and Sounds to cinematic.

Cinematic/Story
The story plot was interesting, but I would like to see a fight scene. It was kinda boring because most of the cinematic was just dialogue and no action.

Terrain
The terrain was nice but I felt that it was lacking in some areas of the cinematic.

Please notify what part Tainthar gets stuck on

Add screenshots in screenshots...

There are screenshots in screenshots...

Hmm I can`t see them

what comes up, red crosse's in boxes? and i dont think i know how to solve the picture problem =/

Part 2 is way better than 1, but he still says ''damn'' a lot of times

Lol yea.. Sorry about that, and thanks

Let us begin with the music. At first I thought the music fit quite well, but the same soft music was played almost throughout the entire cinematic which ruined some of the scenes,such as the one with the orcs preparing to go to war.

About the terrain, it was.. mediocre. The forest seemed rather lifeless and there could have been more environmental doodads there to make it move lively. Other than that the terrain was approvable.

The story wasn't that good, I've watched the first episode as well, but it feels as though too little "happens" per episode, and the story progresses a bit to slow, it seems. The story is approvable, though.

The camera work wasn't that good either. Not saying it was horrible but it was rather stiff from time to time, I am not an expert in this area, but I think more cameras from different angles etc. would "solve" this problem.

One thing that bothered me a lot when watching this cinematic was all the grammatical errors. There was almost one per transmission, along with some (yet few) spelling errors. I suggest going through all of your transmissions to correct these language errors.

Also, the description here on the Hive is okay, but I suggest either putting some screenshots in the screenshot box or removing it all together as it serves no purpose at all at the moment. The cinematic follows all rules well.

To summarize, the terrain was around mediocre, the forest area lacked some environmental doodads such as flowers, bushes etc. but otherwise, the terrain was approvable. The story wasn't that good, and it's worth mentioning that the story progresses slowly. The camera work wasn't that good either and it was rather stiff. There were several grammatical and a few spelling errors in the cinematic that should be fixed.

2/5 (Lacking) and voted for disapproval.

-so, the villagers are going to fight too? I thought he told them they have no chance anyway..
2/5.