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TheWatcher I : The Beginning

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The Watcher I : The Beginning The Watcher : Based on a hero called Tainthar and his village Thaindore.
He has to protect the village by praying to the Ancients but
an evil false god wants to destroy the village and slay Tainthar.
The false gods name is Anubis.

<Cinematic Time >
5:30


Amigurumi for his help with problems in my map.


Music by: Blizzard Entertainment & Nobuo Uematsu
Sounds From: FindSounds.com



-Added Changelog
-Added Wildlife
-Uploaded Better Description
-Better use of Environmental doodads
-Better use of Animations


Daelin
Olofmoleman
Chriz.
xXm0rpH3usXx
Celestea
Nasrudin
aquilla
Mc !
Illidan
reinless
oBs3rv3r
Xios
sc_freak
abriko
JetFangInferno
iNfraNe
Whitehorn
Red XIII
HappyTauren
Herio-san
Illidan(evil)x
Born2Modificate
Trollschnitzel
BlinkBoy

152860-albums1619-picture13738.jpg

152860-albums1619-picture13737.jpg

152860-albums1619-picture13736.jpg

Keywords:
Watch, Watcher, Anubis, Tainthar, Thaindore, Battle, Cinematic, Story, Sacred, Statue, Nobuo Uematsu, false god
Contents

TheWatcher I : The Beginning (Map)

Reviews
23:17, 22nd Jun 2009 PurplePoot: Linaze's post covered the greater part of the aesthetic problems, but the major problem you need to work on is quite simple: the cinematic is incredibly boring. It doesn't really have an attractive plot, and is very...

Moderator

M

Moderator

23:17, 22nd Jun 2009
PurplePoot: Linaze's post covered the greater part of the aesthetic problems, but the major problem you need to work on is quite simple: the cinematic is incredibly boring. It doesn't really have an attractive plot, and is very slow paced.

--

Feel free to PM me when you update it.

--

22:32, 27th June 2009
Linaze: Status changed to "rejected until updated".

03:05, 2nd Jul 2009
Linaze: It's been improved and I suppose it's ready for approval now, even though it's still a bit boring, especially in the beginning.
 
Level 31
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
3,155
1) Description - Description at this site was way too lacking, it doesn't seems to be good enough to follow the submission rules. Please fix it.

2) Terrain - Terrain was lacking. The usage of other destructible/doodad was far too less as most of the time the only destructible that are being use seems to be pine tree.

From what I view, all those tree seems to be pretty close to each others as well. Try not to make them stack too close and use more height variation for the tiles as the terrain was way too smooth.

The wild life element was lacking as well, try add more of it such as a flock of birds to enchance the visual.

Avoid using blizzard cliff especially by making a multiple layers of it. Blizzard cliff are more suitable to make canyon rather than a hill/mountain.

The thing that really puzzle me was, how the hell that tree grow on the rocks?

2.jpg


3) Camera - Camera was badly done, several times it run through destructible/doodad and was way too choppy as well.

4) Animation - As far as I view, most of the unit was standing still like a dummy.

5) Sound & Sound Effect - When the catapult attack, I do not hear a single sounds at all. While the head villager was casting lightning from afar, I could still hear it?

The only sound effect I ever hear was the lightning.

6) Music - No music for a cinematic?

7) Fog - The fog need to be improve as it doesn't cover the entire area, some edge could still be view.

8) Replayability - I have to say it was very low, it was full of dull conversation with typo errors. No music, no sound and the only sound effect I ever heard was lightning.

Along with choppy camera movement that constantly run through destructible/doodad, it even kill the replayability as well.

4.68 mb for a cinematic that lack of music/sound, it was certainly a overkill size even if it was a single player cinematic.

Just view this screenshot to see a few typo you made.

1.jpg

3.jpg


It was recommend not to use dark blue to indicate the character name, as it was similiar to background colour; rendering it hard to be seen.

9) Scripting/Triggering - I have to said it isn't that good, you should have the entire cinematic setup execute immediately instead of setting a 0.05 seconds wait. By doing it your way, I could hear the human music which are suddenly stop.

Using wait action was rather a bad idea as the min wait was 0.27 no matter how low you set it.

Overall - This cinematic need a lot of polish before it can be approve, especially the description which are currently lacking. Till this resources have better description at this site, the resources should stay at pending.

As for now, my rating was 2/5 (Lacking)
 
Level 1
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
823
The Watcher
>>Description at hive needs improvement. You may refer to this http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/...portance-of-a-description-127031/#post1117301 . It can help you.
>>In map description it is written (Story cenimatic). It is cinematic instead of cenimatic.
>>The description on the loading screen should be improved a little. Instead of that it is the first one in series a few intro lines would have been better.
>>Good loading screen.
>>I should not be able to see that I have control of 3 peons & one blademaster which happens at first scene.
>>Ancient instead of Anciant. Anubis instead of Annubis. dying instead of dieing. against instead of against. tear instead of tare. won't instead of wont.
>>The camera angles were bad. Many times camera went through objects like just after the lightning on blademaster the camera went through a tree. Another example was that after prophet says that "Till his dieing breath" the camera goes showing a lot of trees. The camera also went through the bridge when it started to move over the river.
>>http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/pastebin.php?id=sqevdm
In this screenshot you will see that the edge of the map (the black part on left side) is visible. It is not a good idea for a cinematic. Try to take care of this.
>>I saw a tree growing in a rock.
>>The terrain has been worked upon but could have been improved. Use other doodads other than trees & rocks. Use more height variations. It will make it better.
>>Background music effects could have helped. The regular sounds made it boring.
>>The presentation of story could have been better. You need to polish it before it is fit for approval.
>>Where are the credits for custom material? You MUST place them if this needs to be approved.

2/5 for current quality.
Remember that for cinematics it is best to get some feedback here before posting them in map section.
 
Review

Camera: (3/10)
you worked alot with cameras, but they go through doodads and trees, that doesn't look good.
Also do the 'Cinematic - Turn Cinematic mode ON for All Players' in the initialization
trigger, so the cinematic borders appear, before the cinematic starts.

Music/Sounds (1/10)
No music and no sounds, that makes a cinematic boring after the first minutes.
Try to add sounds to create a nice ambient.

Cinematic/Story (3/5)
Story was alright, maybe an exciting scene would be nice, but it's the first
part of a cinematic series, so it's okay for an introducing.

Terrain (8/10)
Terrain was nice, but the trees always have the same model. More tree variations
would make the terrain much better.

Others (3/5)
Grammar errors, you have a lot of them. I always have grammar errors, too,
but try to evade them, a cinematic with grammar errors doesn't look very nice.

My Rating: 2/5:sad: (Lacking)

Tips:
Try to use more music and sounds, to make your cinematic more interesting
and to create a nice ambient. Also try to improve your placement
with doodads/destructables, at the moment, trees are in rocks, and
the pine trees seem to have only one variation.
 
Well, I watched it again, and I see, you changed some things.
the cinematic contains music now, and it fits to the theme, and you changed the trees (more variation, better placement)
The camera was not smooth, I was able to see the camera changes.
After the Ancient has gone, the prophet was again named: The Prophet. It's hard to read.
At the beginning of the cinematic, you can hear the catapults, which attack the ground. Maybe you should change that. And when the Ancient was talking to his orcs, there was a lightning sound, and the screen went blue for a moment...
Now I give it a 2.8/5. Try to improve it, and it would get better.
Else, good luck on it.
 
Level 1
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
823
TheWatcher I : The Beginning

1.....At place where I choose maps.
>>"SG Allies" instead of "SG Alies" if I am correct. Also what is SG?
>>"Anubis" instead of "Annubis"
2......On loading screen it should be ancient instead of anciant. Also why is the sentence suddenly in the third line?
3......"His hope was too destroy"---it should be to.
4......"Untill his last "---it should be until
5......The sound of catapulats attacking came from the beginning of the cinematic even before they were shown.
6....."you're goddamn"---it should be your.
7.....In the gathering the Shaman was not looking towards Tainthar while speaking. It would have been realistic if he would have been looking. The same goes for all of them. At different times they were looking at different places.
8....."on my succsess"---it should be "of my success". After this the dialogue comes which has spelling mistake of succeed.
9.....The camera movement between the scene of catapulats & the bridge was not smooth.
10......The terrain at the meeting site can be improved somewhat.
11......Find someone to help you with grammar. I am not good but someone may help you.
12......It is good to give version number in the name. It helps.

3/5 now. Improve more & it will be better.
Vote For approval
 
'Cause of a request of xDeathKnightx I have tested it again:
(look at the screenshots, I added to the post)
- camera is now smoother
- detected a 'floating' tree (look at screenshot)
- you still hear the catapults at the beginning
- when tainthor meets his orcs, he didn't move to the orcs (screenshot)
- cinematic doesn't end
Change the things I listed above, and maybe I will change my rating.

(look at my artistic skills :p)
 

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Level 24
Joined
Feb 28, 2007
Messages
3,480
The Watcher I: The Beginning is a cinematic that let's the viewer follow the orc Tainthar begin his quest to kill the false god Anubis.

The terrain was decent at some points and worse at some. But I felt as though the terrain lacked flowers, bushes and other wild life doodads. At the moment I only saw grass doodads and trees in the forest. Also, the crystals in the forest looked a bit out of place.

The camera work of the cinematic was decent at best, at some point it was rather stiff, but I didn't notice it going trough any doodads, at least. I suggest adding a few more cameras to make it feel less stiff.

I found the music used wasn't that great, and it felt like the same calm tune was played throughout the entire cinematic, might be me who's tired, though.

The story of the cinematic wasn't too deep. The protagonist was an orc who was blessed with powers of the ancients whose quest was to kill the evil, false god, Anubis who was a threat to Tainthar's village.

About grammar and spelling errors, one thing I noticed was that many sentences lacked a "." in the end of the sentence, other than that, spelling nor grammar was not really a problem.

On the of major things this cinematic lacked was animation, most of the units were standing still throughout the entire cinematic and only the protagonist was moving which made the cinematic feel even more stiff.

To summarize, the terrain was lacking some environmental doodads, the camera work wasn't that good and felt rather stiff, as well as the units in the cinematic that were standing mostly still, except for the protagonist. The story wasn't that good either and it didn't feel as though much work had been put it into it. The music wasn't that good either, and didn't fit in that well. Most sentences lacked a dot in the end, but otherwise were grammatically correct.

2/5 (Lacking) and voted for disapproval.
 
Last edited:
Level 13
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
854
Edit:

Review
A serious cinematic,
I only don't know if the title fits.

+ Very nice terrain!
+ Nice use of tile variation.
+ Good Music.


± Story was average.

- The cam was awfull.
- Animation what he was doing the whole time was strange.
- The titles doesn't makes any sence.
- You could change the Prophet's name, or just give it no name.


Notice: Crystals? Okay... kinda strange.
Once you had a big gap in your cinematic without any text, that
was kinda lame to watch.

I give it a... 2/5.

And why did you already made 3 other parts while this one isn't
approved?
~ Any questions about my review, feel free to pm me ~
 
Last edited:
Level 4
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
75
Cinematic was kinda interesting. I like the Bridge and the Lighting, Pretty CooL!!

My Review:

1) Cameras were good but they was a filter for a long time.
2) Terrain was nice. Good and Perfect
3) One thing i didn't understand was when those demolishers attacked the trees, they weren't destroyed
4) When Tanthiar arrived to his home village and spoke to Shaman Karr, the Shaman didn't face him and speak but when he left everybody was looking at him
5) Music and Sounds were good

My Current Ultimate Rating will be
3/5
 
Level 13
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
854
Cinematic was kinda interesting. I like the Bridge and the Lighting, Pretty CooL!!

My Review:

1) Cameras were good but they was a filter for a long time.
2) Terrain was nice. Good and Perfect
3) One thing i didn't understand was when those demolishers attacked the trees, they weren't destroyed
4) When Tanthiar arrived to his home village and spoke to Shaman Karr, the Shaman didn't face him and speak but when he left everybody was looking at him
5) Music and Sounds were good

My Current Ultimate Rating will be
3/5

They were practising I guess.

And once Tanthiar said to Karr "Your Men" and at the next submission he said "My men"?
 
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