The peasant part 4 v1.03

Moderator · Jun 16, 2009

19:58, 27th Jun 2009
Linaze: Entertaining horror cinematic mixed with some humor, similar to Scary Movie. The terrain is rather good, but the forest could use some more environmental doodads to look more lively instead of empty. The camera work was quite nice even though the camera movement was a tad bit choppy from time to time. I liked the music used in the cinematic and it helped build the mood for a scary cinematic, there were also several sound effects that fit well with the cinematic's theme. The English in the cinematic wasn't the best, and there were quite many spelling and grammatical errors that should be corrected. Finally, good work on the presentation here at the Hive, it has all the necessary information, some screenshots etc.

Approved with a 3/5 (useful) rating

Warhunter · Jun 16, 2009

yay! You finally did it!

+rep!

Amigurumi · Jun 16, 2009

Warhunter said:
yay! You finally did it! +rep!

thanks

Oh and if I forget someone in the credits, pls pm me, I will correct it instantly.

Septimus · Jun 16, 2009

1) Description - Well describe, but if you want your text to be at center. Use

for it. Try add screenshot in hidden tag, it won't hurt to add it.

2) Terrain - Very good use of lighting to give a good effect of a rather thick fog forest during the midnight hours. The usage of tiles variation and destructible/doodad was positive. But, I do think the terrain at this screenshot below could be further improve.

3) Camera - There are some good angle and I really do mean it. But, only when they are not moving. When the camera start moving, it was way too choppy and static. That is the price it paid when you do not set the camera movement properly.

The worst part of the camera movement would be the scene where it was rotating around the statue.

4) Animation - As far as I see, there is nothing wrong with it.

5) Music & Sound Effect - Good use of sound effect for specific point. But it is recommend not to overused it especially the owl sound to display a creepy forest. Sometimes it is recommend to change it instant of replaying it too many times.

As for music, it suit the theme.

6) Special Effect - As far as I concern, the sfx was use mildly without any abuse.

7) Scripting/Triggering - The scripting was poorly done, this are the part where it cause the entire camera movement to be choppy and static. There is a lag occur at some specific part of the area especially when the peasant enter the room of the necromancer.

It was also a bad idea to use wait inside a loop as well. Also, why do you separate all those trigger files? Since you ain't using precise timing to make the cinematic, it isn't necessary to separate it at all.

Also, avoid using Do Nothing action. This action just called another action that does partically nothing. It was design for If/Then/Else single function, not for multiple function.

8) Fog - The fog seems to be good, but was way too thick. Try reduce it to make the visibility a bit clearer for us to view.

9) Replayability - There is a few minor mistake that can be fix. First of all, you can adjust the table to be higher or the ghoul to be scale down. The head penetrate the table as you can seen from this screenshot below.

Another is the typo error as you can seen from here. Either with intention or not, it was better for me to point it out.

This cinematic replayability values could be consider as random. It would probably leave a user with lulz or What the...

feeling, but it definitely isn't scary.

=======================

Overall, it was quite well done in most of the aspect apart from the scripting/triggering. Which are the main causes of lag and poor camera movement that could possibly kill the replayability values.

My rating is 3/5 (Useful)

Amigurumi · Jun 16, 2009

thank you for your review septimus

1) I used center, but I don't know, why the header isn't centered.
2) yeah, I agree, I look, what I can do at the terrain
5) I didn't realised, that I overused the owl, because, if there's a owl in a forest, it doesn't make sounds only once.
7) I'm not shure why there is a lag, but I think it's because the camera view...
8) I can do this

9) Yeah sry for my english, but I try it to improve

thx for the review, +rep

dragor-X · Jun 16, 2009

Wow sept! You have a big report :O didn't noticed anything! It's very good! There's some suspense which make some parts A LITTLE BIT scary (doesn't I don't like scary movies but you know... (I hate scarying movies)).

Edit/Added: Hmm, try to optimize the map a little to reduce file size cause it's a little big. Well just an tip

Amigurumi · Jun 16, 2009

@ dragor-X
I don't like scary movies too, but if they were scary and funny, I like them very much

I think the lag is caused of the camera view. But I try to fix it.

Warhunter · Jun 16, 2009

dragor-X said:
Wow sept! You have a big report :O didn't noticed anything! It's very good! There's some suspense which make some parts A LITTLE BIT scary (doesn't I don't like scary movies but you know... (I hate scarying movies)).

Edit/Added: Hmm, try to optimize the map a little to reduce file size cause it's a little big. Well just an tip

The size doesn't matter at all. It's a cinematic. So who cares? well.. Maybe you do, but not many does.

Amigurumi · Jun 16, 2009

Warhunter said:
The size doesn't matter at all. It's a cinematic. So who cares? well.. Maybe you do, but not many does.

that's right

the size is because of the imported stuff, and without, it wouldn't be the cinematic which it is now

Septimus · Jun 16, 2009

1) I used center, but I don't know, why the header isn't centered.

Use [Box] tag for it.

5) I didn't realised, that I overused the owl, because, if there's a owl in a forest, it doesn't make sounds only once.

But making it too frequent isn't that good. You can change the way it sound when the owl make another sound by either lower the sound effect or make it higher. It doesn't make sense when something that was say repetitive have the sound volume that are way too consistent and exact.

Also, it doesn't make sense to have 1 owl sound at 1 time as such a forest usually have more than 1.

7) I'm not shure why there is a lag, but I think it's because the camera view...

Memory leak.

Also, to avoid choppy camera movement. You should set it this way.

Right way.

Melee Initialization
- Events
- Conditions
- Actions
  - Camera - Apply Camera 001 <gen> for Player 1 (Red) over 0.00 seconds
  - Camera - Apply Camera 002 <gen> for Player 1 (Red) over 5.00 seconds

Wrong way

Melee Initialization
- Events
- Conditions
- Actions
  - Camera - Apply Camera 002 <gen> for Player 1 (Red) over 5.00 seconds

Another technique is to use anitarf cinematic system, but that system was a JASS system and would no longer useable at patch 1.23

Wow sept! You have a big report

I only write a constructive review that point to the flaw, nothing else.

The size doesn't matter at all. It's a cinematic. So who cares? well.. Maybe you do, but not many does.

Multiplayer cinematic = Yes, it was important.
Singleplayer cinematic = No, it isn't.

Amigurumi · Jun 16, 2009

but it only lags when you see the abomination or in the bedroom. So why should the lag caused by the memory leaks?

xDeathKnightx · Jun 16, 2009

Amazing 100000000% Amazing, i dont think i've seen anything funnier, i rate this 10/5 becuase its pure Epic and gives a new meaning to funny!! EJ

-Sh0ck3r- · Jun 17, 2009

Exelent 5/5

supertoinkz · Jun 17, 2009

nice +rep+

Amigurumi · Jun 17, 2009

I'm glad you like it all

Now, I have to do more, I think... otherwise, everybody would be angry D:

But first I'm going to improve it

//Edit:
now v 1.01!
- removed most of the point leaks
- removed the 'Do Nothing' action
- made the fog thinner
- fixed some typos
- now the necromancer's head isn't in the table anymore

Zelda.Alex · Jun 18, 2009

>>>left instead of leaved & has instead of have at the place where I choose the map inside the game.
>>>On the loading screen it should be finds instead of founds.
>>>The camera went through the wall at the time when Peasant was entering the room with the necromancer. Fix that.
>>>There were some more typos after the peasant enters the house. Like informations instead of information, shure instead of sure & a few more.
>>>The scene just before the peasant enters the house there are a lot of Zombies present there. They did nothing to the peasant but just stare towards him. What was the point of them standing there?
>>>A typo in description-----"what the foruth part should be about."

>>Proper credits & proper description are + points. +Rep for that.

I enjoyed watching the improved version from the last one.
It isn't scary but a little funny.

It is really nice. 4/5 from me.

I would like to see the next one too.

Amigurumi · Jun 18, 2009

thx Zelda.Alex for your review +rep
1) I will take a look at all the typos
3) k I fix it
5) They wanted to scare him

zared7 · Jun 18, 2009

Amigurumi,gj(GREEEEEEEAT JOB) 5/5

Amigurumi · Jun 18, 2009

*v 1.02*
- fixed many typos
- now the camera doesn't go through the door frame

Amigurumi,gj(GREEEEEEEAT JOB) 5/5

I'm glad you liked it

Avator · Jun 18, 2009

Thanks for adding a story just for me :gg:

Anyway, it looks like a nice cinematic to me that's been spend time on and obviously a lot of testing to get good results. As for the story: It was so not serious it sometimes was funny in some way. Not my way to go, but worthy of my approval nonetheless xD

Considering all points to judge a cinematic on and comparing it to other cinematics, I'll rate this is a solid 3/5. Unfortunately, solid doesn't count in the ratings, so you'll just have to keep that in mind ^^

Lakai · Jun 19, 2009

Nice cinematics and nice music

5/5

Linaze · Jun 21, 2009

The Peasant Part 4 is is horror cinematic that takes place in a creepy forest during the darkest hours of the day, there, our protagonist must find his way out of the forest, but danger awaits around every corner.

The storyline is rather good, I suppose, but a few things ruins the mood for me, such as the scene where the "Sad Zombie" asks the director for a better role in the cinematic, such scenes belongs more in comical cinematics rather than horror cinematics.

The terrain is rather good, and I see no problem with neither tile variaton nor height variation. The forest looks rather empty, though, and could use some more environmental doodads, such as flowers, bushes, grass etc. The house could use some furniture, as well, as it looks rather at the moment.

The camera work was also decent. There were several cameras and from different angles. The camera did move a bit choppy from time to time, though. But the camera work overall was quite nice.

I find the music you use fits quite well with the cinematic's theme and it helps making it feel much creepier. There was also quite a lot of sound effects such as screams that were abused (played over and over again for some time) a little, it seems, such as when the zombie screamed. But on the whole, the sound effects used were rather fitting.

Another thing I noticed was that there were several grammatical and spelling errors, even in the loading screen. It was still readable, of course, but looks better with proper English.

The cinematic doesn't break any Hive Workshop map submission rule and has a proper description here on the Hive.

To summarize, the storyline was rather good, but a few comical scenes ruined the scary mood. The terrain was also rather good, but lacked some environmental doodads in the forest areas. The camera work was pretty good, but was a bit choppy sometimes. The music fit well in with the cinematic's theme, as did the sound effects, even though some of them were a bit abused. The cinematic suffers a bit from grammatical and spelling errors when it comes to the English language. Finally, the cinematic follows the Hive's rules and has a proper description.

3/5 (Useful) and voted for approval.

Amigurumi · Jun 21, 2009

thx for your review, Linaze +rep
English isn't my first language, so I'm not very good in it. but I try to fix most of the typos, and grammatical errors.
This cinematic is a funny/"horror" cinematic, so I think some 'comical' things can be in there.
I know, the house is a bit empty, but I tried it to add more things, but that looked odd.

lord_ken · Jun 24, 2009

Hmm.

Terrain - 4/5

The terrain was quite interesting ( Since i have a thing for these dark places. )
The fog was really dark for me though. The terrain still could use some improvement thought. Since some of it was rather random. Also, Good use of tiles.

Camera - 3/5

The camera was when it was steady as Septimus said. Was quite good, But. When it moved it was static and choppy.

Animation - ?

I don't really see whats wrong and bad with it. >_>

SFX - 3/5

You didn't really use it much. But still.

Story - ?

Is there really a story to this? >.<

4/5

Amigurumi · Jun 24, 2009

Hmm.

hmm

Review

thanks

Is there really a story to this? >.<

not really. I once thought: Hey, I try to make a funny cinematic, but what story should I use? Nothing comes into my mind, so I decided to make a completly senseless cinematic, which has humor, and a peasant

Update!
some terrain changes

DPL · Jun 26, 2009

I watched the 4 cinematics... They are nice... I think it was funny sometimes. Good work keep going

creyzi4zb12 · Jul 5, 2009

You have improved a lot mate!! I give you 4/5 from making the basic cinematics to creating things like these!!

EDIT: I accidentally rated you map as 5/5...Oh well..

Rian Putra · Apr 28, 2011

I collected all your peasant map

deepstrasz · Feb 23, 2016

This one has some visual artistry, at least.

The peasant part 4 v1.03

The peasant part 4 v1.03 (Map)

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