Kicking off my second review for you map.
General
Overall it´s shorter than your previous part, which is alright by me, but story wise you basically left this cinematic where you ended the first one (Slightly further) but more elaboration on that in the story part of this review.
Along the lines, I would like to recommend you watch the grammar a bit more, it felt as if you went a bit sloppier on it this time, there were phrases in this cinematic part which were poorly written (something to look at).
Terrain and Environment
Terrain wise, yet again pretty good outdoors, perhaps a little bit more focus on the indoors, aside from that, try to play around with very light white fog during rain, this can give some nice effects.
Try to toy around with them.
Outside terrain my advice is; try making small rocks along the pebbled roads, this can give this little extra touch.
Camera and Cinematic Handling
I like the fact that used some close up shots (yako standing at the bed of odin while he was injured) nice work, keep that up.
With making turns in camera motion, try to place less camera's cause this can give the turn you are making a blocky touch.
This is caused by blizzard's way of panning camera's always directly and not having a "smooth turn" option, cause of this flaw, you'll have to take minors like this into account.
Some cinematical dialogues could have been slowed down, cause they raced by a little too quick.
Story and Character Building
As said your story didn't really progress, the only two things that are interesting is the appearance of this character called Julious, what I would like to add to that, is that it was rather awkward that yako didn't sense, hear feel his presence (meaning if he had bad intentions he could already have died), and the part where Juile died.
Juile didn't get that much attention in this chapter, and she didn't seem so spirited anymore, for example her father didn't want her in the battle, were she in the first part was being rebellious, she just obeyed like that, would have been nice if she went like , 'But father....!' , not directly sure if it has anything to do with the fact that she sorta betrayed her father by killing the soldier? (wasn't to clear what happened there, but we'll have to wait and see how that progresses).
What I would really recommend for next chapters (cause this can be quite a good episode if you put your time and energy in it), it to write a detailed story script where you write happening down, dialogues battles, feelings etc etc, this can really let you theorize on how you want the cinematic to progress.
Perhaps write different versions?
Animation, (inter)action and Effects
As said in the previous cinematic (so I will keep it short) make sure characters aren't making random animation, like Juile making summer salts all the time.
Additionally I think you overall did a good effort with facings etc, however make sure you pass them along the whole cinematic, for example:
- Yako looking at the nurse when she tries to say something before he ran off.
- Yako looking down to Odin when he is injured.
Try to keep in mind that animations (and yes they are limited in warcraft 3, I know that, make allot up for emotional expressions, some examples again.
- Yako making a cheer/battle-cry when he ordered his man to go in position.
- Raiken wielding his sword forward (or something with his sword) when he says, level the place.
- Yako in stand ready when Julious suddenly enters his room.
Last but least, perhaps you can do something with julious disapearing to look cooler (making a trigger to make him periodically smaller and making him more transparent, when you see the dust appearing, if you do that with periodic event, quite quickly it can provide that little extra effect, which gives him a cool expression about.
Music and Sounds
The bullet sound was obvious but came in a bit too hard, and after it was shot you followed the bullet, but you should try to make a loop of a bullet floating through the air, makes it a bit more realistic.
the music was quite alright, but perhaps you can find something more refreshing, not sure what, but near the end I got the feeling I was listening to ambient music, and not music that was scaled upon the situations anymore.
Well that was all, I will rate this with a 3.0 (3), I liked your first episode better mainly cause of the story part, and how that elaborated a bit more, I expected this to do the same, additionally I think the music selection was a wee more off this time.
Keep up your work, and I hope this review gives you something to stick your teeth in
Voted for approval
Approved
