ap0calypse said:

Before reading:

Vehster, do you even know how many people here on the hive are dying to get such great reviews as the one posted here?
There are about 350 pending maps that are still waiting for that and thousands that get approved/rejected without a full review.
Not only did you receive 2 (3 including this post) of those, you also just blew them away as if they were crap.

I have done my best to review your map, just read it: it's for your own good.



Anything that is listed is helpful, you shouldn't look at the quantity.


Sadly, you can't.


A 2HP/s regen is a high regen. The lowest HP regen in the game (not counting your own soldiers) is 1.00, though the most common zombies have a 2.00/5.00 HP regen.


What the hell is that going to do? Help you? I'm pretty sure it won't do anything.
Besides, if I can't punish you with -rep, I punish you with temporary bans and infractions.


How would a 5/5 be helpful? He told you what to improve.
A rating of 1/5 (when commented) is far more helpful than any other rating, I've been around long enough to know that. You just didn't realize it yet.


And you're talking about childish behaviour? Please take a good look at yourself first.


That's your opinion. Unprotected maps are far easier to review.
But okay, I deprotected your map (as you obviously weren't planning on giving it me yourself) and here's a short comment of what I think about the map:


Terrain:
The terrain was very poorly done.
On the bottom of the map, there are quite a lot of cinematic doodads. These should always be avoided (only the orange fire might be used in some cases, yet still not adviced).
The tileset needs a lot of improvement. The transition between different tiles, for example. Small 'spots' of a different tile don't make the terrain look good, instead it makes it look a lot worse.

When placing doodads, keep in mind that they should actually fit the map - placing random doodads all over the place is something you do not want.
Those pipes are way too random, I don't see how they could possibly fit there.
The barricades have been spammed, something else you should never do: spam doodads.



Objects:
The tooltips and names of all objects really are horrible.
Do you know why people use tooltips? They're there so the player can see what the hell he is doing.
If your tooltip is just "you summon and throw the holy boomerang...", then you can expect a shitstorm about messy tooltips.
Even worse: the units didn't even have tooltips. We should just know how strong they are? Or perhaps you'd like us to search all over the map for them and compare them like that?
No: it's YOUR job to make the player's life easy and add tooltips so they know which units to build.

The spells are very weak ('weak' meaning 'lacking').
One spell is sort of like a mass holy light, the other can't be upgraded.
The hero can't even select a spell every level, he has to wait until level 4-7 to get Holy Wrath to level 2-3, there are no other spells to fill those unspent skill points.
I also had trouble trying to deal damage with the boomerang... when I noticed this, I turned on whosyourdaddy and shot the boomerang in the middle of a large group of enemies (2 times: once at zombies, the other time at oozes). Strangely, not one enemy got killed (even though the boomerang went right through them). Care to check this out?

There aren't any upgrades, items or other researches to make up for the lack of units either.
Just a few units you can make (and you don't even know what you're making until they're ready), 1 spell to level up and 2 spells to use in total. That's the short summary of all objects you can use, in my eyes way too short.


Gameplay:
A typical defense/survival, with the exception that nothing is explained.
How do I even know whether the difficulty is easy, hard or evil? There are no game messages to tell me the difficulty has changed...
The only explanation is in the loading screen, which goes too fast to properly read (I had to wait a while before 'pressing any key' just so I could read what I had to do).

How about game messages when a wave is coming? Or when your hero has been revived? Or hell, just a little game message about how to play?
Or a quest message about the gameplay, that could help as well.

Every unit takes ages to build, so you'll have to manage with a very small group of units.
Even then, you don't have a lot of choice between the units either, as I wasn't able to build "Basic unit from the kingdom of Fewt", "Basic unit from the kingdom of Fewt" (YES: TWICE! Twice the same goddamn name! How the hell are we supposed to choose which unit to build if they're described the exact same way?!) and "Ranged Unit from the kingdom of Fewt".
I don't know WHY I couldn't, I just wasn't able to. It was greyed out the entire time...



Overview
I have told you a LOT of things to improve in this text. I will not give you a list as to what to improve as I might forget a few things.
The most important is the lack of any information though, non-existing tooltips, not even a game message when you change the difficulty etc - how are we supposed to know what's going on if you don't tell us?

There's just so much wrong with the map and so little going on that I cannot possibly rate this any higher than a 1/5.
If you're saying this review sucks, or I am a bad reviewer, then I will stop talking to you entirely and classify you as a mindless idiot.

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