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Rise of the General: Part II

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Rise of the General: Part 2
Created by GrandDukeAdense

Description:

Thirty years ago Emperor Raimus inherited his father's newly formed Satharon Empire. Even though his father had been considered a conqueror, Raimus exceeded him by far. He invaded and occupied all neighbouring kingdoms with great success! Now there is peace in the Empire. Our story is about a young farmer named Castor Adura, who lived in Satharon at this time...

HERE'S THE PREVIOUS EPISODE: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/maps-564/rise-general-part-i-203138/

HERE's THE NEXT EPISODE: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/maps-564/rise-general-part-iii-203403/?prev=status%3Da%26u%3DGrandDukeAdense

This is part 2 of the cinematic series. In the previous episode, Castor and his unwanted companion Captain Dargo were intercepted as they were trying to flee from the Imperials. Watch this to find out how it goes!

Author's notes:
I would be really glad if you could point out the mistakes I've made, so that I can improve them and make better cinematics in the future. I've tried to learn from what you guys told me about the previous episode, and I hope this one is better! So please tell me what to improve, and I promise to deliver an action-packed and awesome Part 3 of this series!

This movie series serve as a prequel film series for a campaign that I'm making. While I was building my campaign, I realized that even though I knew all the backstory, other people don't. So this is my way of telling that story, which eventually leads up to the campaing (I have not yet released the campaign)

Anyways, like I said before, I'd be really happy if someone could review this and tell me what's good and what's bad!

Cheers, GrandDukeAdense

Keywords:
warcraft 3, cinematic, adventure, satharon, empire, castor, epic, general
Contents

Rise of the General: Part II (Map)

Reviews
12:31, 7th Sep 2011 Vengeancekael: Approved. A neat second part of your cinematic series. Full review coming soon.

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12:31, 7th Sep 2011
Vengeancekael:
Approved. A neat second part of your cinematic series. Full review coming soon.
 
Level 5
Joined
Jun 4, 2009
Messages
31
Well...
I've already commented Part I.
I totally agree with the idea of making background explanatory cinematics. Makes the story more complete.
About part II...

-Dialogs seem better than in part I. They're shorter, but they still help to understand the story. And you kept the Captain's funny replies. I guess he has an important part in your campaign...
One other point abour the Captain: at the end, he calls Melana by her name. Strange. I was expecting him to use a nickname, like he always does. Something like "lass", "blondie", or "cutie"...

-About the forest... the city Castor, Melana and the Captain have to reach seems important, since it is only there that you can be exempted from military service. So, why do you have to cross such a thick, dark swamp forest to reach it? Over the years, people might have built proper roads and paths to get there without troubles.
Unless the city is a foreign place, so the Empire can not claim conscripts from there. In which case: Are you sure a soldier (even a light-dressed blonde mage) can tread that easily in foreign territory?

-About the undeads...
First, when the undead army is showed, the zombies are sleeping. Take care of that. It just involves a checkbox in the unit editor.
Then, the two skeleton guards were THAT easy to 'kill'? (or un-resurrect, to end their un-death :grin:).
What's the point of guarding the prisoners, since they're able to kill single-handedly the guards? (not to talk about the escape plan: "Hey! I'll taunt the guards, so they'll try and kill us!" but I suppose it's part of Castor's way of thinking)
Finally, I was rather disappointed by the fight against the vampire lord. I was expecting something more epic, to match the huge apocalytical battle between army men and undead. I just got a short vampire slaughter. Apart from a quick teleport and some random claw strikes, the vilain is not giving much of a struggle, for someone able to raise an army of undead...

-About the imperial army. Well, the Garithos' character (I don't remember his name) is a general. It stands to reason he has a large force under his command. It seems logical too he needs at any cost to rescue a mage as mighty as Melana. But sending the whole army to defeat the undeads? If it was supposed to work, why did he wait that long to cut down the undead threat?
Unless Melana was essential to victory, in which case it would be better to explain it. It would also explain why he and his men go to fight so impulsively...

Apart from that, it is quite a nice cinematic. I really like the layouts (like for the previous part). I await the third (and perhaps last) part, as well as the campaign...
 
Level 5
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
33
@Pyroproctos:
- About the "blondie" part. Actually I didn't think of that. Might change it in an update..
- Well, the city (Dursome) was actually an independent city before it was conquered by the Empire. And since it is rather large, that's why the Empire keep such a big garrison there. And they really haven't had time and resources to remove the forest. Its supposed to be old and cursed (rainy) so its kinda hard. I don't think I explained that good enough in the cinematic.

- About the vampire dying so easily and still being able to summon a huge army.. Hm, let's just say that the main characters make further research about that in the next part :)

-The city is supposed to have fallen very recently, so the Imperials haven't had time to strike back. And Melana is a very important person, so that's why he rushes to her aid.

There will be at least 4 parts. Maybe 5. (Part 4 will be the most action-packed)
 

deepstrasz

Map Reviewer
Level 69
Joined
Jun 4, 2009
Messages
18,804
The undead really shouldn't have had a part in this story.
Cliche' getting imprisoned by the enemy and escaping.
What's with the bell sounding before the battle? Where were the bells?
Talking Skeletons that can also become angry.
Killing the vampire just like that. That could've happened before they were captured, why not.

2.5/5.
 
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