Striking Sword - Concept Characters

[Gantz07]

Hi guys, this is my first post here and I do hope you entertain my thread.

First of all, I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but since this is technically for a story then..mehh, haha. Just tell me if this needs to be moved.

Ok, so this is a concept for characters that I plan to use in my story. And for me to fully grasp and flesh out the characters, I decided to put them in a Dota (Aos) form. So the characters that I have here have 3 "basic" skills and 1 "ultimate" skill. Although please be reminded that I did NOT make them as hero suggestions.

I just want to receive feedback on the character concept, the skill descriptions and mechanisms, and other aesthetic suggestions. I do not intend to make these characters balanced as per Dota terms because this is not intended for gameplay, so please refrain from commenting about the numbers. The numbers are just there so there could be a measurement of how "powerful" the skill can/may be.

So there you have it, please provide constructive criticisms so if ever I manage to complete this story, then I will post it here.

P.S. I do give permission to those people who would want to copy these concept characters as their original, but please do give a little recognition.

 

[Gantz07]

Bump. I will add more characters as soon as I receive initial feedback. Thanks everybody!

 

[Chiller]

The spell descriptions are quite nice. The spells fit well for what i can make out to be some kind of a dark mage hero.

 

[DSanhueza]

If you tell me what model for your character you are going to use would help me on giving you criticism, but as far as the spell description goes they seem pretty legit to me!

 

[Gantz07]

The spell descriptions are quite nice. The spells fit well for what i can make out to be some kind of a dark mage hero.

Thanks for the feedback dude! I will be adding few more characters so just keep posted. The character btw, is a like a dark mage hero. He is the cook/wise guy of the group.

If you tell me what model for your character you are going to use would help me on giving you criticism, but as far as the spell description goes they seem pretty legit to me!

Oh, I'm sorry man but I don't have any hero models in mind. The reason for that is because it is a character concept for the story so the details I'm providing there should evoke or paint a picture of the character. So just use your imagination based on what you understand from the character skills. But, thanks for the feedbback. Do appreciate it!

 

[Gantz07]

UPDATED! Continue to give feedback as I'm currently writing the story.

FYI: Blade of the Heavens and Void Entity are concepts from my nephews.