How to Debate

Foreward by Brad.Dude03: This thread is being stickied. This is an example of 'satire'. Satire is one of the many great things that should be encouraged in Something Else. It's a great part of what makes the world go around. Thus, if you intend to create a satirical thread, please, please, use this as an example. - Brad.dude03


While I was bathing in my own greatness, I would often get comments from my peers, such as "How do you debate so well?" and "Why are you always so right and awesome?"

Not being one to simply give my Hivemates the cold shoulder, I thought I'd give you guys a few pointers on how to go about doing this.

1. Spelling is for elitists.
   wen u talk lik dis, ppl on teh intrnet wil kno u r 1 of them. ppl may say u sound lik a idoit but thes ppl jus wanna feel better bout themselfs. u kno that deep iside evry1s the same wether u spell corectly or not n ne1 who says othrwis is a racist who judgs books by there covers. u wil sound kool cuz ur 1337 n u go aginst norm talkin ur a rebel!
   
2. Is the person you're arguing against American? It's time for a stereotype!
   We all know Americans are stupid. What better way to own them than tell them off for the hamburger devouring rednecks they are? You know they can't be right, because they're American, and they screw everything up, while you yourself are born without flaw! Because you're not American!
   
3. Is the person you're arguing against not American? It's time for a stereotype!
   We all know foreigners are arrogant cowards who are always relying on America to save the day. Especially during World War II! Don't let them forget World War II! Because World War II simple can't be forgotten by those Europeans! Without us Americans, you'd all be speaking German! World War II!
   
4. If you agree with a mod, you are kissing ass.
   When authority is against you, there can only be one conclusion: You are being oppressed! You, the shining symbol of free speech, is being shut down by the evil fascist regime on this site! Even more despicable are the cowards that hide behind the authorities, hoping that they will get a pat on the back for standing on authority's side. This has nothing to do with whether you're right or not, because you know you can't be wrong! They are just power-hungry fools!
   
5. If you agree with the majority of people, you are jumping on the bandwagon.
   Is the entire world against your idiocy? Well, that couldn't possibly mean you're wrong. It simply means people are doing what's popular and this entire scheme is yet another witch trial. You, the helpless minority, are being oppressed. How can this be? It's because everyone on this site is a total simpleton and you are the only intellectual being available. If saying this won't drive shame into the people's hearts for the atrocities they have done,
   
6. Ragequit!
   You've seen others do it, and you can too! Don't think you'd need the intelligence of Mini-me to go down fighting. Spam on the chatroom! Spam on the forums! Spam in people's profiles. Send flames flying left and right! This is your chance to make your mark on this site! Let everyone know the tantrum you've thrown, and realize that you are a force to be reckoned with!

I recommend this as a tutorial.

Can't argue with that, Ash.

Lol, this is great. Plus rep.

Moved to Tutorials.

Took your time.

Edit: Hey wait, you didn't.

Dang it, I'd have been debating better if I had only remember to bring up World War II! D:<

Ralle, brad.dude03 needs powers over SE! Movement to tutorials, nao!

Originally Posted by Hakeem

Dang it, I'd have been debating better if I had only remember to bring up World War II! D:<

Link

We got liberated by German Americans! D:

This is the best thing that's ever happened to this site.

-Bump-

I thought you were actually serious until number four. It's a good thing I read further.

Originally Posted by anderf

I thought you were actually serious until number four. It's a good thing I read further.

A real master of debate only needs to read the first sentence to develop an understanding of the entire thread.

...or at least act like it.

You should TOTALLY be a mod.

You at least have some level of decency and maturity...unlike some..