The Hive's Times; Volume 1 1/14/2011

[Skycraft]

Skycraft, ahem, this was just a first try, if you look at all web comics, you can see first tryes are always unfunny, while upcomming ones become more and more awesome. And stop complaining. It's not like you can do better. And... wait, I'm pretty sure the more comics this newspaper will have, the better it will be. There's enough place for both comics, right? If you'll ever make one, of course...

1. I understand this was your first try, but I just didn't find it funny. And usually first timers have better jokes.
2. I'm not complaining at all - he asked for criticism and I gave it.
3. And yes I will be adding my own little sketch for the luls.

Next edition shall look AND BE sexier.

 

[Tleno]

Well you're a newbie, you don't know the funnyness of Mecheon. And oh come on, how could we knew veteran Hivers are bored of this joke if none of us have seen this joke mentioned in quite a time.

 

[Skycraft]

Well you're a newbie, you don't know the funnyness of Mecheon. And oh come on, how could we knew veteran Hivers are bored of this joke if none of us have seen this joke mentioned in quite a time.

I may be new to this site - but you act like a child. If you are going to create something like this ever again LEARN TO ACCEPT CRITICISM. OR DO NOT BOTHER.
Enough said.

 

[Tleno]

I don't see anything childish in my actions.
Hey, I always accept criticism. I just don't accept competition.

 

[Deolrin]

tleno, seriously, you joined in 2008, you can't call someone a newbie.
And this 'Mecheon' joke was rather lame. It's old and tired. It was funny reading it for the first time in the quote database but that's it. There's no point in stretching it.
And jokes are only funny ONCE. Yes, ONCE. Not twice, not thrice. Once.
And you're not a veteran hiver. Veteran hivers are people from 2004\05\06.

Honestly, I'd love to see what Skycraft has to offer anytime it's related to the Hive.
And tleno, I'm sure the next page would be more funny.

 

[Tleno]

Well I called him newbie, but hey, I never called myself veteran.

And yes, we with Velj are already searching for something funny. Currently no results. Well we have few, but we have to come up with something really funny.

 

[enjoy]

ATTENTION

I would like EVERYBODY to STAY ON SUBJECT. That means, give
CONSTRUCTIVE critique to the newspaper. I had enough of people
calling eachother noobs, and people raging. Stay on subject,
and behave.

 

[HINDYhat]

And oh come on, how could we knew veteran Hivers are bored of this joke if none of us have seen this joke mentioned in quite a time.

None of the old school Hive members care about this forum anymore, and even if they would, I can assure you they wouldn't bother caring about this thread or that comic.

 

[The World Is Flat]

Yes i agree, I'm already of ashamed at raging at pyra, we are trying to have fun, not a flame war.

@ hindy, probably true.

 

[Direfury]

If yer looking for jokes for that comic, keep to the stupid and sometimes the surprisingly witty.

For example, a lecture, leading to "...and that is the number one reason as to why gambling is becoming the number one vice of the Dwarven people-" "I bet you it's not!"

 

[anarchianbedlam]

Wow man, fuck watchman's rant, just give pyramidhead the job, he is obviously better at it then you guys could ever hope to be. And Twif, putting vulgarities into a newspaper is like making a documentary with nothing but fart jokes. No one is going to take you seriously and you'll look like an idiot. Could you imagine if the LA times was talking about a new police station or the election or haiti and kept saying "pussymancer", "fuck" and "cock"?

and to go back to my earlier statement....

words. can not describe. how BAD of an idea this is

EDIT: oh ya and vermillion, yur funny, u shud write funneh pajus 4 twif.

 

[The World Is Flat]

Welcome to the internet, please enjoy your stay.

Like i said, anyone who can do it well can contribute.

 

[anarchianbedlam]

but then you have the same problem ghostthruster had, where you have some great submissions and some utter shit submissions. And then the crap submissions just ruin the entire thing, it's like if you ate a sandwhich where the meat and the cheese and lettuce were delicious but the bread is moldy cardboard. So sure you could take the bread off and just eat the good stuff, but then it's not a sandwhich anymore.....

And so far, the amount of college english majors and mature people here ensure that this thread or "newzpapur" as you call it, will never be anything other than an unappetizing pile of slag.

 

[Silly Lil Ant]

anarchianbedlam... I know what you mean about putting vulgarities into it being not such a good idea, but it was a first shot. People learn from their mistakes, which would hopefully mean that they will rethink the wording of what they put into the newspaper in the next issue. However, comparing this newspaper to a printed one is in itself rather silly. The LA times (assuming it is a real paper, I live in England and don't care too much for the names of Newspapers around the globe ) is dealing with serious news, like the election or Haiti as you so kindly pointed out. Whereas "The Hive's Times/Something Else", is very much less serious and not dealing with breaking news which could potentially effect our lives. Though it might mention about a major event on the site, this small news potentially has very little chance to effect us.

back to your earlier statement...

If words cannot describe how bad of an idea this is, then why, may I ask, did you post a response? Pointing out why it is bad would surely be more helpful for everyone and lead to TWIF to not ignore your posts when you say something productive. Just saying

Also, I don't know why but I read your comments in a sarcastic way sorry if they were not.

TWIF... An Idea.:
Maybe you could give the team a theme in which their section needs to relate to. This will of course bring a similarity between each article, a challenge to the writer's and comidians. However, this won't work with the resource of the week or quote sections. Just an idea

 

[The World Is Flat]

Good for you Anarchian.

Your last sentence seems rather incomplete, btw, what do you mean by it? Are you impying that only collage majorts can write? lol.

The kid who wrote eragon (which sucked, but...) didn't have a collage education when he started writing, and it became an international bestseller.

I've won one of the writing contests and come in second on another and i certainly dont have a collage education.

Collage education helps, but its natural talent that really guide the way, you can learn theory, but it takes skill, and there are plenty of hivers who have it.

And also, before you go off and randomly call the pilot crap, why dont you think of how it could have been done better, thats called constructive criticisim, and its the only kind that matters.

@Ant, well some directive is nice in such a paper yes.

 

[Silly Lil Ant]

And Twif, putting vulgarities into a newspaper is like making a documentary with nothing but fart jokes. No one is going to take you seriously and you'll look like an idiot. Could you imagine if the LA times was talking about a new police station or the election or haiti and kept saying "pussymancer", "fuck" and "cock"?

And so far, the amount of college english majors and mature people here ensure that this thread or "newzpapur" as you call it, will never be anything other than an unappetizing pile of slag.

I am sorry if I offend you but your posts make you seem like a little bit of an idiot.

 

[anarchianbedlam]

I am sorry if I offend you but your posts make you seem like a little bit of an idiot.

No, it's just a facade

Good for you Anarchian.

Your last sentence seems rather incomplete, btw, what do you mean by it? Are you impying that only collage majorts can write? lol.

The kid who wrote eragon (which sucked, but...) didn't have a collage education when he started writing, and it became an international bestseller.

I've won one of the writing contests and come in second on another and i certainly dont have a collage education.

Collage education helps, but its natural talent that really guide the way, you can learn theory, but it takes skill, and there are plenty of hivers who have it.

And also, before you go off and randomly call the pilot crap, why dont you think of how it could have been done better, that's called constructive criticisim, and its the only kind that matters.

@Ant, well some directive is nice in such a paper yes.

First off...
Collage: a technique of composing a work of art by pasting on a single surface various materials not normally associated with one another, as newspaper clippings, parts of photographs, theater tickets, and fragments of an envelope.

College: an institution of higher learning, esp. one providing a general or liberal arts education rather than technical or professional training.

And thus proving my point.

And i did have constructive criticism, you probably just didn't see it in all the deconstructive shit. Mainly, don't put vulgarities in something like a newsletter. but while we're on the topic.

If you're going to have a "model of the week" then you have to equally represent all other resource sections equally (model, icon, skin, map, spell, pack etc)

Right now you have a few articles presented as objective when they are clearly opinion columns

You are not citing quotes thus leading to non-credible reporting and misdirecting audiences.

The "funny pages" "picture" has absolutely nothing to do with the hive workshop, it's not even blizzard or video game related. Know your target audience.

The comic is terrible, while the idea of making the images of the comic using ingame models and scenery is novel. the brick walls of text are lengthy and unnecessary and really should be posted in a type of speech bubble for better contrast against the dark miasma of blizzard geoset data in the picture.

And as said before, the interview with enjoy was completely mishandled. There was no explination to lead us into the interview and throughout the interview the important basic information that should have been given from the beginning is buried deep within the lines of dialogue

So basically, i only say that this "newsletter" is a bad idea because, while we might be able to improve it eventually, we really are starting at rock bottom here.

EDIT: oh and by the way, I cant imagine why you dont know this, but writers have editors. Editors check for grammar and plot points and spelling. And you need an editor of some sort to publish a book. So really the only thing i could accredit that 17 year old child who wrote eragon with is the storyline. OH WAIT, i just remembered that eragon's story is just lord of the rings + star wars..... using Eragon was e very VERY bad example

 

[Pyramidhe@d]

i find it hilarious when people never find satire and sarcasm to be effective means of feedbacks.

this wasnt a pilot run. this was a shambled mess of paragraphs. a pilot run would be you putting this up to a chosen group of people SPECIFICALLY asking for feedbacks, specifically asking for feedbacks WHILE they read it. of course. you cant redo this article because it has been officially stamped with "issue 1" so you cannot possibly improve on it. Nothing to it except wait another week for another shambled issue with shambled feedback.

and do you remember that old saying? "first impression is everything". you cant just do a shit job because its the first and say that you will improve on it. you want to impress people on the first go. not give them something half done and say "ya we'll get there". i mean. if you cant even get all the planned articles in, what is the point? i mean. obviously there were no dead line. it was the first issue, you could have taken your time to at least get all the articles in.

also. being the first edition, obviously there were going to be mixed opinions. you get the 4 types of people.
People who actually think its good
People who dont think its good but only says it's good
People who dont say anything
People who act like dicks.
thats just how it works. and if you dont like how it is, maybe you aint cut out to be the leader.

and stop trying to dissuade us from criticizing the readable content under the excuse that it is a "pilot" run. what the hell else do you want us to discuss? just the format of it? well that is pretty useless. might as well give us paragraphs of rambles as a filler.

or maybe you should tell us how its done, instead of listing off bullshit remarks with no constructive criticisim?

what...? i dont get it....i just listed all the things youve done wrong. the list of things YOUVE DONE WRONG. the obvious and the logical implication is that you do the opposite of things that were wrong. or did you completely disregard what i've said because they were a tad bit too harsh for you? are you in denial just because i hit a few nerves? asking for criticism and then bawwing at the given criticism is such are spineless way of dealing with things.

 

[TheFairfield]

You know, I find it really interesting that the only people that seem to hate this are the moderators.

 

[Ganondorf]

Hmm, something I gotta ask... Can't we just PM you our story and you publish it? It would be easy, we'd format it ourselves like we want, and you just copy'n'paste? Just suggesting...

 

[Pyramidhe@d]

You know, I find it really interesting that the only people that seem to hate this are the moderators.

You know, if that is the case, then I find it really interesting that the only people that seem to like this are the normal users.

you asked for criticism, you are only gonna get criticism from moderators. because if you are anyone that has strolled through the resource section, you will see that normal users rate EVERYTHING 4/5 or 5/5. absolutely EVERYTHING. that isnt called a constructive criticism. that is called brown-nosing.

"watchman is teh funny. 5/5" is not a criticism. it tells you about improving the newspaper as much as those star ratings on movie posters are useful for judging how good the movie might be. its like saying the local newspaper is good because the comic strips they have at the very back is funny.

 

[TheFairfield]

Look, if you were supportive and tried to be nice and constructive without being such a bastard, I wouldn't have any issue. But you seem dedicated to destroying any hope for this project.

 

[Devine]

This thread made me lol and I didn't even read most of what was said here.
The funny page was horrible, indeed. I didn't even smile. What I said earlier still counts, though. I want to know what's happening outside of OT without going through the actual, poorly written shit in the actual threads. So this tabloid is a good idea. Just don't try to be funny because that "funny page" is somewhat annoying.

 

[Miss_Foxy]

Hive Times look acceptable, I'm gonna vote for it
Keep up the news guys, it's awesome!

 

[HINDYhat]

Just for reference, I hated this too and I'm not a mod.

 

[Miss_Foxy]

This Newspaper should be stickied if it's approved in the Latest Updates and News Thread.

 

[TheFairfield]

Seems you used to be though...

 

[PurplePoot]

I hate image spam as much as the next guy but I feel that this is necessary:

 

[Mr. Bob]

Oh dear lord...

You know, I find it really interesting that the only people that seem to hate this are the moderators.

Don't even think about starting an anti mod "viva la revolution" war again. And of course they hate it. Its basically a big FU to forum mods.

Now instead of having to weed the shit out of small posts, they have to read a fucking book of messy incoherent paragraphs splotched together like Uncle Burney's face after his motorcycle accident. Then they have to find the inevitable numerous flamebates and fix it. Your basically adding proofreading and mass PR to the list of moderator tasks. And ofc, once they fix it ALL THE FUCKING USERS HAVE SEEN IT ALL READY thus it really doesn't matter and the flame wars shall take place just as much as they would had it not been fixed. And you cant say that you would never make anything too volatile because how can you know EVERY continuing argument on the hive at this moment? All it takes is one spark. And as we all know, this site has a ridiculously large number of people who like to say, "hey lets call the mods nazis and make them look terrible because maybe it will make me look smart and maybe they will make me a mod!"

This also adds just one more crappy "fame" system. Rep is bad enough, but now your going to have EVEN MORE separation between people who are "elite" and the "noobs". And please...PLEASE don't respond to that with "its all just fun and games" like people did with rep. It never works like that on this site and you know it. You know who you are. Don't do it. -.-

Also the "funny pages" is a terrible idea to be quite honest. Having someone write an essay about how he hates this and that is just another flamebate, and a rally point for people looking to start revolutions.

What your basically doing is generating a huge bomb every week and throwing it out into a crowd leaving the authorities to find it before someone accidentally sets it off.

Also the "new users can find this useful" theory is bogus because lets be honest, what new user is going to read whats basically a book of stuff that for the most part he wont need? We have trouble enough getting users to read the rules. I mean fuck, I don't even think I've read the rules all the way through.

or maybe you should tell us how its done, instead of listing off bullshit remarks with no constructive criticisim?

Thats just it. It SHOULDN'T BE DONE. At all. Thats the whole point. Also how is this not constructive? Sure its not nice, but it sure is constructive.

 

[PurplePoot]

For those of you guys who don't seem to get it, half the fun of in-jokes is that they're organic. I realize most of you probably weren't around to remember the MH drama back in the day, but stuff like Hive Workshop Heroes and the Haosis Propaganda Channel worked because they were impromptu, relevant to the situation, and... well, they were created by someone with a good sense of humour. This on the other hand (creating something for the sake of attempting to document entertaining moments as they occur, as well as random filler in between) just feels forced and reading it is cringeworthy, and that's ignoring the lack of spelling/grammar/polish.

That said, I think something similar (albeit shorter) could work decently and we actually had a very entertaining and similar piece until recently for the warcraft 3 diplomacy gaming community. However, it was written by people who actually knew what they were doing, had a lot of experience, was in an incredibly drama-ridden community (and thus had lots of content), and was... well, funny. It also meshed well with the fact that a lot of people loved roleplaying (especially the guy who ran said paper) and thus could play off stuff like that, and was on a forum with much looser moderation (which is not ideal for THW, so don't take this to mean I support loose moderation everywhere) and a (slightly) more mature audience.

 

[Wazzz]

Wait wait wait... so what you're suggesting is that it's alright to bring back things like the anti-Haosis wars again? Seriously, he is just a user, if you want to be a fan of him, do so, otherwise just leave him alone. If you're really against him, just ignore him, you're only going to end up getting punished yourself for flaming.

Anyway, the news letter itself. I really don't know about this. As in I don't feel any promising future for this. Mainly because of Watchman's section. Seriously, a rant is a rant, but it's not that entertaining when the punchlines are either non-existant or so weak that they may as well be non-existant and when half his topics aren't even able to be taken seriously. Sure, it's great that he talked about some stupid disqualifications in the Hero Contest. Whether or not that's true will be another matter, you're no doubt going to need some proof to back that up. Despite the humour once again being incredibly weak, it is good that awareness would be raised regarding this.

Now, I know these are early days, and you'll have years to get the hang of this (after all, 52 times a year can only make you good at it, right?), but the 'Funny Pages' seems to lack any.... funny. The Demotivational itself is... mediocure. But in light of the added... wtf is that, is that even a pun?..., it looks pretty god damn hilarious. Seriously, I don't understand how a reference to Shamanyouranus is humorous in that circumstance, it's not clever writing at all, and the fact that you spelt anus wrong despite having the picture right in front of you is certainly off putting.

Comic wasn't that great, interview wasn't bad and the model of the week was well-written and agreeable with. What I don't understand, however, is why sections like that can't just be stickied like the 'Most Downloaded ......' and the 'Newest ......'. And, to summarise the other points, if you're going to have a 'Funny Pages' make sure they're funny, and it comes as no surprise that Watchman volunteered to write that section.

 

[PurplePoot]

Wait wait wait... so what you're suggesting is that it's alright to bring back things like the anti-Haosis wars again? Seriously, he is just a user, if you want to be a fan of him, do so, otherwise just leave him alone. If you're really against him, just ignore him, you're only going to end up getting punished yourself for flaming.

No, that's not at all what I suggested, but I guess reading comprehension is overrated. I suggested that when stuff like the haosis wars occur (and drama does have a habit of coming up every now and then) coverage is justified and can be good (however unbiased or biased it may be), but trying to force it like here just fails miserably.

 

[Wazzz]

No, that's not at all what I suggested, but I guess reading comprehension is overrated. I suggested that when stuff like the haosis wars occur (and drama does have a habit of coming up every now and then) coverage is justified and can be good (however unbiased or biased it may be), but trying to force it like here just fails miserably.

Ah I see what you mean now. Yeah, you can't forge that stuff, otherwise you'll get something like 'The Hive's Times', and no one wants another one of those.

 

[anarchianbedlam]

Boy howdy, it sure seems like there are a good number of non-moderator users who dont like this thread as well. Huh, interesting....

 

[AIagremm]

Wow, thats a shock. I mean a dozen mods and 3000 users. Yeap, I expected all users to like this paper.

 

[indomitable1319]

So did I, Alagremm...

 

[Wazzz]

As did I, but as it turns out some users happen to be mature O:

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Well, which is cooler guys, this or this?

 

[PurplePoot]

That. Somewhat useful and much better written.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Yeah and that was something I expected. :/

 

[Fussiler1]

Oh dear lord...
Don't even think about starting an anti mod "viva la revolution" war again. And of course they hate it. Its basically a big FU to forum mods.

What's with you and revolutions?

Anyways, it's meh.

 

[Wazzz]

Love how 'Fussiler' talks about revolutions (♥ the Napeolonic army :3).

And yes, I agree with the 'meh'. I agree with anyone who has had the brains to realise that the only reason this would be popular is because there's too many children on the hive saying it's funny and that they want more (I would say some names, but GIANT_CRAB[Y] might not like that).

 

[Skycraft]

By the looks of things..
There could only be more if it's got a bit more maturity in it, but not so much that it's hard to understand for the younger users.
Like a clever writer that interacts with both of the age groups.

 

[Tleno]

You know, when I first time saw that TWIF wrote that I'm in charge if funny pages, altrough I just suggested the idea of comic and was one of it's co-writers, I tough he just wants to flush away the dirt from himself. Now when I read these comments I see it's true.

I'm not sure about the future of comics of ours with Velj. Since the reaction was so negative, we might consider halting the whole comic thing forever, or we might try to immprove ourselves a lot, possibly by inviting one of most funny Hivers into our team as writer. Or we might leave it as it is, hoping that our jokes will become funny enough or Hive will get filled with brain-dead WoW playing kids. Which is more possible you know.
But that's for us with Velj to decide.

And the future of newspaper belongs to TWIF. Hope he'll won't give up after the first fiasc and will reorganize the whole thing.

 

[Deolrin]

You know guys, I find it somewhat ironic that there's huge drama over a newspaper about drama.

But really, give it a chance. Wait for next week's issue. If it still sucks balls in your eyes then just ignore it and leave it to the(majority) who like it.

 

[AIagremm]

Seriously, one issue and you already spammed it with hate. Seriously, Im pretty sure that when Hive started there were loads of complains to Ralle about it not being good enough and there being something wrong. But he worked on it, made it better, fixed what was wrong and over time it became the site we all are registered on.

So instead of just spamming hate, why not just give suggestions, ask not to do what you disliked and encourage the creators to improve the paper, instead of giving links of long dead newspapers saying they were better and insluting people who worked on this. And for certain people who didnt like the paper I recommend to learn to take critizism from other people.

 

[Deolrin]

When the Hive 'started', it was a site dedicated to Ralle's WH40K TD. :/

 

[Skycraft]

Eh I don't mind helping out with a few things - it's not a bad idea. Just needs improvement.

 

[TheFairfield]

And look at what it is now.

 

[The World Is Flat]

Lol.

I can see the new front page now.

"Mods dislike newspaper, flamefest begins"

Seriously, I really could care less, if its so dumb, then ignore it.

If you want it improved, then Improve it.

Also, i dont think Watchman is being revolutionist, just pointing out a funny. deal with jokes to your ego please, the hive doesent have the load bearing capacity to let them grow even more bloated.

Sure, most of the time some of you are nice people, you just need to learn to ignore things you dislike instead of raging, or provide constructive rather than destructive criticisim.